Paige Cinderella
by WaitingForLightning
Summary: Paige is lost in life. Her childhood got ruined when her mother died and she was left with her stepdad and stepsister. 15 years later she managed to come back to Rosewood. Can she with help from Spencer and Emily get back to her feet and get finally a life she deserves?
1. Chapter 1

"Emily sweetheart, I know what you're going to say but think about it one more time. Get married so I can sign this private clinic official to your name."

There it was once again. It is not about forcing me to get married but forcing me to do what's expected of me. My father only became stronger and better when he married my mother, he wants the same thing for me. But really? "Dad, yes I know. Just leave it alone for a while okay. Alison and I just broke up, my whole youth and plans were a lie, let me feel blue okay?"

"Sweetheart, the one is running around. And not far away, she's here. What do you think was the main reason you two broke up after so many years without a real problem in your relationship? The time was up, the substitute could go because the real thing has arrived. Of course I want to be sensitive and give you your time to heal Emmy but I just feel that you will find your match one of these days."

"Dad." I groaned. Unbelievable. I was never the dating type, or the get out type. I have to give my dad credit though, he knows I want to run this clinic without him. Only one problem, where the hell am I going to find the one?

In here? The clinic? Yeah right, I don't think so. I have known everyone in here for a pretty long time. Besides Ali I wasn't interested in anyone. "I'm meeting Kenneth. Don't forget your appointment with Hanna sweetie."

"Okay bye dad."

Right Hanna. Where is she, she should've been here already. "Hi Mr. Fields. Bye Mr. Fields. Hey Miss Fields."

"Hanna come in. What can I do for you what I should've done ten minutes ago?"

"I know I'm late I'm sorry. But my boyfriend looked too good this morning and-"

"Let's get this over with please." I was losing my patience, I hate when my schedule gets messed up. I remember Hanna from years ago, she was always the one informed about anything. If you wanted to be in with the latest news, she's the one you have to ask about it.

"Well I was wondering if I could get my old job back behind the bar."

I crossed my legs as I sat back in my chair. "Well you used to work for my dad, now I'm the boss on most day so if you're going to work for me I expect you to be on time."

Uncrossing my legs I leaned forward to make myself more clear. "Also, my father might have put up with your absence behind the bar so you could go gossip around but I won't. Am I clear?"

As I escorted Hanna out of my office I swear I heard her mumble bitch. I'm fully aware of my reputation here but I couldn't care less. Being warm never helped me forward in the past, while being cold I got a lot of respect from high standard men. Expect from my dad of course.

The clinics good name is more important to me than you would think. My dad and Kenneth DiLaurentis parents both invested in this company, after Kenneth took a step aside my dad became the big boss.

I got into the elevator to the loft where I stay. I threw myself in the sofa. "Why are you here Ali?" I yawned.

"I was waiting for you to come up." Why did no one call me? I would've never came upstairs if I knew I had to face her. I sighed.

"What's up Ali?"

"It's her. She's back. My dad denied everything, but earlier I heard him talk to your father about her. The police called him, she escaped. I want her gone so please, if she comes in begging for a job don't give her one right? She doesn't belong here if she even has the guts to come back to this place."

"Alison, she's your stepsister. It's been fifteen years since you last saw her, give her a shot."

"She's not my stepsister Emily from the moment her mother died and she burnt my dad's house down. People like her don't change and don't belong here, it's that simple. You owe me this one Emily."

I shook my head. It's been always like this with Alison. "You don't have to worry about her Ali."

* * *

It was dark, it was pouring rain. My last money spent on the bus and here I was back in the town where I grew up before my sweet life turned into a life from hell. And damn I'm hungry. I hid my face under my hoodie, I was scared of being recognized, I was scared to walk around all alone in this hellhole. I was scared for what may hunt me.

I passed street after street, I could hardly tell where I was. Everything was different, I grew up and it seemed the town grew up as well. The pond was gone, the entrance to the park was nowhere to be found either. The park where my mom used to take me all the time, where I met my first real friend. I touched the handmade bracelet on my right hand for a second. I have worn it for fifteen years, I haven't taken it off once.

I know I'm an exception in this world, I keep promises. Even when it's about something stupid like friendship bracelets from when I was just a kid, I don't care. I hold my word.

My stomach groaned so loudly. Cars were passing by, not many people on the streets. The lights on the corner stole my attention, I carefully crossed the street and inspected the Night Shop on the corner.

I have never stolen food before I only have gone hungry to bed a lot of times. More because I had no choice. My aunt only welcomed me with open arms because I would make a good slave. Finally she got arrested. It finally happened this morning. Finally I managed to run away, finally I'm home.

I walked into the shop, I took everything in from the back. How everything was placed, who else was inside, where the cameras where exactly placed, I looked between cartons of milk to the girl behind the counter who was busying herself with reading a book. She was little, would she be able to fight me?

I paid attention to the old women next to me who were I suppose telling their life stories to each other in Spanish. A young guy just left the store, the two old women and the young girl and me. I took deep breaths before fixing my hoodie. Making sure the camera doesn't get me, I stormed over the bread, took some candy bars and ran out. Only I didn't notice one of the small grandchildren, I bumped into this little kid. I was exposed, the chocolate candy bars fell out of my hoodie pocket, the bread bag fell out of my hand.

I ran, I started to run. I heard the girl from the store scream after me, but I kept running. I heard cars honk behind me. I refused to look back, I didn't know where I was going but I decided to trust my feet. My face was wet from crying.

Exhausted I stepped up some steps leading me to a porch where I found a blanket in a chair. Without thinking I wrapped the blanket around me, and sat down in the chair. The sobs were getting heavier, I ran away, I lied to myself about coming home. My home doesn't exist anymore. And I almost stole.

Today I did so many things that would only prove my evil stepsister right. I'm a disgrace to my family. But I want my mom. I need my mom.

I only could think back to the day when me, Paige McCullers became the very thing where I, myself was most afraid of.

 **Hi! I'm back with this idea. The original idea has already been taken over by this one.**

 **In my original idea Aria was going to play a big part in this story and Paily were already together. But yeah when I thought of getting my frustrations with the show out of my system I thought I had to switch things up. So yes Alison will be in this story, she will be mean. But nothing our hearts won't tolerate. Whatever happens, know I'm a massive Paily shipper :)**

 **Hanna, Aria and Spencer will be important to this story in their own way. I hope the risk I take works :)**

 **Thank you for reading the first chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Toby! Come here." I stiffened at the sound of a woman's voice, I kept my eyes closed hanging on the blanket with my hands for dear life. "She looks not good at all."

"Shall I wake her up?" My heart was pounding heavily at the question of the guy.

"No. Can you carry her inside? She can continue sleeping on the couch. "

"Are you sure?" I was waiting to hear an answer, it never came. It might have been a signal or a nod with her head because the next thing I knew was my teeth clenching, my body started to sweat heavily as I was picked up from the chair. I have never been more scared to open my eyes so I didn't.

As soon those strong arms laid me down on the couch and pulled the blanket better over me, I allowed myself to breathe again. What's the worst thing that can happen when I wake up? They will scold me for sleeping on their property and then kick me out. Well I might just try to go back to sleep, it's the most comfortable sleep I had in days and might get in days.

"Will you be quiet? Someone's sleeping in here!" The voice of the woman from earlier startled me. "See, she's awake!" She noticed quick. Okay no point in hiding anymore Paige come on you can do this. I made sure to turn around slowly, not to scare me more or them. As soon I turned I found out the exact reason why they noticed so quick I was awake. Two faces were resting on their hands watching over their cup of coffee looking at me. From the look of it, they have been watching me for a while.

I let out a nervous chuckle out. "Well she's cute." The handsome boy said, his eyes were appealing. Is this the guy that carried me in?

"Do you want some coffee? Caleb here brought donuts as breakfast." I don't know how it happened so fast but I needed those donuts straight away. As soon I finished the first one, the woman handed me over hers. Normally I wouldn't accept it but now I didn't care. They already have gotten the weirdest first impression so eating as an animal wouldn't hurt.

I came to my senses when I heard the boy chuckle next to me. "Sorry." I said. "I was just very hungry."

"And tired." The woman said.

"And tired." The woman whose words I repeated were trying to burn holes in me. I felt numb, I wanted to run from those two but I couldn't. The reason why I ended up to in this house came to my mind, tears filled my eye. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to give them a sad explanation and guilt trap them in doing something nice for me but I just couldn't hold back.

"Hey, it's okay come here." I was pulled in a nice long hug. Sobbing into the guys shoulder. "I'm Caleb. This is Spencer. Who are you?"

"Paige." I felt scared, Spencer was looking me up and down. "McCullers." Until her facial impression completely changed. "McCullers? From the McCullers who used to live here before I bought this place?"

I silently nodded. The reason why I started to cry. I came back to the only thing I know, which is gone. "I used to live here with my mother. Lindsey McCullers."

"And you thought she still lived here?" Caleb asked.

I shook my head no. "No, I was seven when she passed away."

The room grew silent. I felt I owned them to explain more, I didn't know where to start or why I should trust them in the first place. "I think I better go."

"Parks aren't safe to sleep in you know. Or do you know where you are going next?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I was passed another cup of coffee, Spencer signaled me to sit back down.

So I just started explaining my life story. For the first time in my life, no one cared before those two. Doesn't mean I should get in the details, might not a smart move but I couldn't help myself. It felt good to be seen as a person.

"I was so young when he died, I only have a few of his belongings not much and no memories at all. So from that moment it was just my mom and me. Until she re-married when I was six, he was rich, handsome in my mother's eyes, he was always nice to me. He made my mom truly happy, my mother became sick that's when I started to become independent. She made it one year further so I was left with him and his daughter. She hated me from the first moment she saw me, she was real daddy's girl who didn't want to share. She set me up all the time, I was seen as a real burden to Kenneth. He remained to see the best in me though so she pulled out the big guns. One day she came in to my room to start a fight with me, she broke all of my dolls. The dolls my mother gave me, she pushed a massive button there. She knew exactly what to do. I pushed her, she pushed back and then she dropped a lighter out of her pocket. The house went up in flames in no time. Her dad was sad but not mad. So she talked into him, that I did it. I was a real problem child and this thing was only the beginning. She told him I was messed up and wanted to kill them hence the fire starting."

I was completely torn apart and in pieces during my story. I felt proud to manage to tell them that much, what happened after and what brought me here was too much for now.

After a while of getting comforted Spencer asked me the inevitable question. "What happened next?"

* * *

"Ali, do you have time for me?"

"Dad I was just about to go to do some shopping."

"Of course you have time for your father. Sit down Alison."

"I got a phone call yesterday. I talked it over with Wayne, I was really upset and wanted to get my things together first before I talked to you. The police informed me that your stepsister isn't with your aunt anymore. Your aunt got arrested, before the police was able to talk to Paige she already took off. The police are looking for her. I don't want them to get to her first. I don't know her way of thinking but there's a chance she might come back to Rosewood. If you see her please be nice Ali. She's Lindsey's daughter, I made a promise. I broke it once, I won't do it twice."

"What are you saying dad?"

"I want to go looking for her. I talked it over with Wayne, he's going to help me. We might get our family back sweetheart.

"Family? She ain't family! She's insane! Did you forget she tried to kill both of us? The police wants her dad, why do you? Am I not good enough?"

"Ali sweetheart. Ali come back!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello?"

"Ali? It's me. Sorry to bother you but there's an envelope at my office for you. What do I do with it?"

"Who's it from?"

"I don't know, he didn't say his name. He only asked for mine and told me to give it to you. What's going on Ali? You realize you can't use me for this shit anymore right? What are you up to this time?"

"Em." I heard her sigh in the phone. Back to the old times I thought. "No not Em me. Tell me."

"I hired a private investigator. I couldn't meet him in person so I asked him to deliver it to you. At home is too risky with my dad around."

"A private investigator?" Now it was my time to sigh. Yeah this was definitely a new one. "Who do you want to track?"

"Her." It took me a while to comprehend who she was referring too. Until it clicked. Her stepsister of course. Well this could be a step in the right direction. "So?"

"I don't know. The answer is in your hands right now. Open it Em, I trust you. Just don't tell anyone. Especially not our fathers. Okay?"

"Yeah okay." I was overcome with nerves. I got used to the way Ali spoke about people she doesn't like, if she doesn't like you she will let it seem like you killed someone. I never heard much about this Paige person, but when I did it was =with the ugliest word choices possible. I have always wondered what she's like for real.

I opened the envelop very fast, scanned the words with my eyes and slowed down at the end. "She's here."

"What do you mean Emily? Where is she?"

"Rosewood. She's in Rosewood. The detective saw her here late last night. He took a picture." I tried to make something from that face but it was impossible to do so. It was too dark on the streets when it was taken and her hoodie covered her face pretty well. I was left with just a glimpse of this infamous Paige girl.

* * *

"So the only family you have left is those two and that aunt?" I nodded. I stood with my back against the wall, my aunt was a pathetic lonely poor woman with more than one screw loose. She needed the money, so of course she accepted Kenneth's request to take care of me. A few months became one year, one year became fifteen years. After the first couple of months he stopped visiting me. I never heard of him again. He abandoned me.

And left me with that awful woman. She was mean, lazy and drunk all the time. I barely got time to go to school. I cleaned, I cooked, I had no friends, no life. I mostly got beaten up, every single day she found a brand new excuse to hit me. That woman was very innovative let me tell you that.

"I was trapped there. It was horrible. She had a lot of bad things on her name so it was just a matter of time before the cops would appear and arrest her. I ran. I stole money out of her bedroom which she first stole from me. I took it, and I ran. I saw it as the perfect getaway moment. I'm almost 23 she held me captive for way too long."

"And so you ran towards your mother's old house?"

I shrugged again. My mind didn't recognize the area but my heart apparently did.

"I kind of just ended up here after I got extremely upset and I was so hungry." I felt so ashamed.

"You can trust us Paige." I looked up at Caleb next I looked to Spencer, I felt they were genuine.

"I was so hungry. I I wanted to eat but I had no money and I-" I started to cry again.

"You stole food didn't you?" Caleb asked surprisingly not in a judging way.

I shook my head. "I ran into a kid and the things I wanted to steal from the shop fell and I was so scared that I ran out of the store, the woman who worked there ran out after me and she screamed something. I'm not sure what but I scared myself so bad I just kept running and next thing I know I arrived here."

I kept my face down. I couldn't handle looking in their eyes right now. I just confessed stealing money and confessed to almost steal again.

"Look Paige. When I saw you I felt that you weren't just a homeless girl or a runaway from home kind. Well it seems you are a bit of both but I felt there was more to you. So I won't kick you out. Caleb works for me, I'm a lawyer my office is in my home. I like it here more than I do in a boring building. We are almost always here, you can stay here. You won't be alone this way."

My mouth fell agape. Wait what? Did she really invite me to stay in her house?

"But I can't pay you. I have no money."

"Paige, you can stay here until you get back on your feet. I'm a lawyer I can help you if you would need help. Paige, I believe what you told me. I think you're a good kid."

I felt like crying again. I couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't manage to get a word out so I nodded instead.

Once again I was speechless. I walked in my old bedroom, I touched the walls with my hand. "You can stay here as long as you want okay?" I felt a hand on my shoulder making me turn around.

"You are not a burden to me or to Caleb okay?" She looked me straight in the eye. I swear I crushed her bones in the hug. How could this happen? How can this fit in my hell life?

"I'm going to leave you alone for a while okay?"

I nodded. "Spencer, have you read the paper maybe?"

"Yes why?"

"No nothing."

"Is there something else? Paige?"

"No just. I'm scared"

"You will be okay Paige."


	4. Chapter 4

"Good evening Paige, I got you some new donuts." I laughed, this is a good evening yes.

"Thank you Caleb."

"So do you have plans for this week?" Spencer asked me.

I shifted a bit uncomfortable in my seat. "I thought off going back to that night shop to say I'm sorry."

Spencer got up and took something out of her purse. "Here. Buy something." She handed me money. I was paralyzed. "I can't."

"Yes you can." I think I will never get used to this, the catch will show up sooner or later.

I was practicing what to say in my head. Should I go inside and buy something? Should I make eye contact or smile at her when I walk in? Shall I apologize as soon as I see her? Maybe she doesn't even recognize me.

As soon I walked in the shop I felt sad also kind of relieved to see a young guy sitting behind the counter. I wandered in the back until I built enough courage to go ask this guy about the girl. I took a few bottles of wine and walked to the counter.

He barely looked at me, his eyes were reading his comic novel while scanning the bottles. "Can I ask you something?" I asked nervously. "Do you maybe know when that girl your colleague is working again? She's not that big and has brown hair." I hopefully looked up at the guy when he finally moved his attention towards me.

"Why you ask that?"

"Ehm just because I-"

I wasn't sure what I wanted to say , luckily I was interrupted quick.

"Do you know something involving the accident?"

My eyes got extremely wide. "What accident?"

"She was hit by a car last night when she was running after some person."

I thought I was going to pass out. I thought I was going to be sick.

"Is she?" I couldn't finish my sentence. I let my two words hang in the air while I tried to remind myself to breath.

"Yes, in the hospital. I don't know anything else sorry." I nodded at his words, I paid for the wine and started to walk back to Spencer's. This can't be true. This girl can't be in the hospital because of me. I started to cry again. I haven't felt this weak in ages.

I arrived back to the house, fresh tears replacing the old ones. I ignored the questions and rushed up the stairs. I collapsed as soon I closed the door of my old bedroom. There it was, the first knockdown in my so called new life. I didn't drive the car but I was the bait.

I noticed some cracks in the wall paper, I touched it with my hand. Let my fingers follow all of the cracks, where the cracks were heavy I pulled at it. I started to cry again, for sure happy tears. It's like I exactly knew where to pull at the paper.

The little crayon drawings of a five year old me were still there. They didn't even paint over it, it was still there only hidden underneath a new paper. Maybe this till can be my home.

I made my way back down. I took a place next to Spencer on the couch. "Where's Caleb?"

"He went home." Her voice was normal, not cold or distant. Her eyes still on the screen. I guess it's her trying to give me space. "I bought you some wine. I left it in my room." I saw her nod at the corner of my eye.

"She was hit by a car after she tried to chase a customer down the street. She's in the hospital now."

"Oh Paige, come here." As soon she put two and two together I was cuddled into her side her hands rubbing my back, telling me it might not be as bad as I think.

"You know what, I will call around first thing in the morning. See if I can find out where she is and in what state she was brought in. Okay?"

I couldn't bring myself to talk so I simply nodded yes.

"You didn't catch a name by any chance?" Something in me said yes, after thinking about it I was sure it was a no. "No." No I don't know anything, only that I put someone in life danger because of my stupidity.

* * *

"Hi girls." I was really getting nervous, I try to lead the clinic as good as I can but with a troublemaker of an ex and crazy parents you never can concentrate on anything else for the fullest. Today's meeting subject : Paige. I don't know why my dad is so invested in this, well he did know her and her mother but what do I have to do with it?

The thing that gets me anxious is that I have no clue what Ali hopes to achieve. The private investigator that she hired is that to find her and to connect with her or-. I sighed, didn't even want to finish those thoughts.

Before both our fathers joined us in my office she told me the investigator lost track of Paige. Ali is supposed to take over the little remaining chores of her dad for a little while, and I take full responsibility here. "Yeah of course dad. No problem. I hope you find her."

"Yeah of course but dad you shouldn't do too much." Ali spoke. "I didn't want to tell you but I hired a private investigator." I think my face had utter shock completely written over it.

"What do you mean Ali?"

"He told me she's abroad. I'm sorry dad."

I saw Kenneth face lose all the color he had. It was heart ripping to see. Is this better than tell him she's so close to him but no one knows where? Yes maybe.

"Okay well I guess we should use all the luck possible than."

"But dad, I just told you-"

"I know Ali. But I need to do something, I'm still going to search all over the state. I have to do something."


	5. Chapter 5

"Why is it that every time I look around you two are seen together? Is there something I should know about?"

So far eating breakfast in completely silence. "No dad nothing. " I went back to eating my eggs with full concentration but I was slightly irritated now.

"You know what dad? Yes there's something. Do you know how difficult it is for me when my dad and my ex's dad have been best friends since kindergarten and we both have jobs at the same place because our fathers always wanted to play match maker? Well at one point I might have been grateful for that but now it's killing me. And then you go lecture me about finding the right one because Ali clearly isn't the one for me, well help me out will ya? Make the ex-disappear and make the one appear? " With a groan I left the kitchen and went back to my room.

I loved her, I really did. Than it changed to I don't want her but no one else can have her. I can't explain to anyone how hard it was for me to wake up in that relationship and cut the strings. Us being together was a dream for my family, it was either me being with Ali or her brother. Since the day I came out it was all on board on the Ali train.

I like to believe my dad and really believe that she's here. Only matter of hours maybe days, but it will be me and her in one of these days.

* * *

I could hardly believe what I saw when I woke up. I was so used to be on my own but here I was sleeping next to Spencer in Spencer's big bed. She sensed that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to be on my own and this way I might feel calmer and manage to get some sleep in. She was right.

She didn't judge me or saw me as a lawyer challenge but as a real person. She cares.

"Good morning." I whispered.

"Good morning Paige." She whispered back. "Did you sleep well?"

"I could say I haven't slept this good in fifteen years." She laughed.

"You can still sleep some more if you want. Caleb will be here any moment. We always eat breakfast together before we start working. You can also join us if you like. I think he likes you."

"Caleb likes me?" A little smirk formed on my face before I burst out laughing. Spencer looked puzzled. "Wow sorry. It's just, I think it's the first time someone ever liked me than. I feel flattered but I'm pretty sure I'm an girl only kinda girl."

Spencer face changed a couple of times, it's like she doesn't know to what she should answer first. To the fact I've never been with someone before, that I already had written off Caleb or the fact I've written off guys in general. Until it dawned me.

"No no Spencer not like that. I like you, but I feel no attraction towards you. I swear only friendly business!" I think I saw as read as an tomato by now. The relieve came when Spencer started laughing.

"Okay than my lady friend. You can come downstairs whenever you like, I will make some calls as I promised."

I was scared to get downstairs, after an hour I decided to get up. I took some of the clothes Spencer picked out for me and joined them downstairs. It was awfully silent when I entered the open kitchen, even Caleb wasn't making any eye contact with me. Oh no. They don't like gays. They don't want me to stay here any longer. That must be it right? I carefully sat down next to him.

"Paige, I will just go ahead and say it." Here we go I thought.

"I found her."

I raised my eyebrows when the initial shock died down. "What do you mean exactly?"

"I didn't get any information so I tried again using my lawyer title, it made it easier to receive some news."

I stared at the floor at times, other moments I was just staring out of the window. Listening how Spencer told me about how her phone calls went to various hospitals until she reached the right one. The private Rosewood clinic, the one that was specialized in a lot of serious dangerous injuries. I zoned out as soon that clinic became the topic.

"I could go see here, I could try. Only if her parents allow it if they would be by her side. You can come with me, not sure how she will react if you apologize and tell her the role you played in all this but you can still apologize if you want."

"So she's doing good?"

"I'm not sure. They didn't want to tell over the phone. They confirmed that she was brought in with serious injuries. More information wasn't allowed over the phone."

"So she might not be fine." It was more stating a fact than a question.

"It's up to you Paige. We can go see her this afternoon, or another day. When you're ready."

I was glad she didn't force me to do anything. "Okay thank you Spencer."

She sadly smiled at me.

"Okay enough with the sadness. Now Paige, Spencer told me something interesting about you this morning. So what you say, let's get all of this emotion rollercoaster behind and go out? There's this bar in town where we always go for a drink, you should come with us tonight. It will do you some good."

I agreed to go with them more out of politeness than anything else. "Great. And don't worry I still like you." Caleb winked.


	6. Chapter 6

I decided to go to the clinic tomorrow. Yeah might be able to go there tomorrow. I downed another drink, I have never really consumed alcohol. I wasn't allowed to, now I don't want to waste any time finding out the feeling of being tipsy. I got to say it's very freeing. The music is kind of slow, I keep everything on the down low but for whatever reason I can't keep still.

The bar they are just to go to isn't that big, in the front room to dance and an impromptu DJ booth. The bar is quite large. As soon we got here I got introduced to their group of friends. They are all very smart and definitely know what the unfortunate world looks like, well they got it from another way than I do but that's for tonight not important.

I was Paige, a long lost childhood friend from Spencer who now lives with her. I might stay might travel further. I am grateful for Caleb's backstory for me.

Only one girl makes it more difficult, she works behind the bar and is co-responsible for my almost drunken state. Damn that girl can shake cocktails. "So where all have you traveled?" The question she asked last, and thank god for Spencer needing me on the dancefloor at that exact moment. Not that I had any moves but I figured I was doing slightly better than Caleb.

I felt a body pressing into my back, fingers sliding over my right arm. "I'm on break, you don't mind do you?" I so didn't I had no clue how to move but I decided to follow this girls rhythm. This girl damned, what's her name again?

She turned me around and I noticed this beautiful smile. "You got some nice moves." She said.

I blushed. "I'm not really a party person. I haven't been out in a long time, I honestly don't know what I'm doing." The way I said it made her laugh. If she only knew, how literally I meant it all.

"Well I guess our bodies spur each other on." My smile widened. "So how do you know Spencer?" I asked.

"Well she used to go to school with my sister, they didn't really got along. I got always along with Caleb and then I got this job, Spencer is a regular here so-"

I hummed along at her words, I was too focused on everything happening around me. The kissing, the humping, the weird dancing, the jumping around, the throwing up. So is this what partying looks like?

Keeping my eyes open was just too much asked. I had to do it thousand times over before they stayed wide open. I turned to my right to see the time on my alarm clock. Early afternoon. Can't it be time for bed already? No way I'm leaving. I felt a lot of weight behind my back. A dark colored arm draped over my body.

"Bad headache?" Her voice sounded so sweet but my head told me I preferred not hearing a single thing. "Yeah." I groaned.

She let out a little laugh. "Thank you for letting me crash here by the way. And this way I could keep an eye on you. I think I would've worried sick about you since I don't have your number." The word number got my attention.

"You can always leave yours, I might be able to use Spencer's phone sometimes."

She raised her eyebrows as to ask, why would you do that? "I know where you work I can stop by occasionally." I said. Reassuring her that I want to see her again. "I just don't have a phone. Never really owned one."

"Oh. You're a free spirit aren't you? With the traveling, nothing tied to the real world here."

"Yeah." The knocking in my head got worse. "I need an aspirin." Thank god I fell a sleep with my clothes on from last night, I got downstairs. I heard some noise coming from the office.

"See who finally decided to get up." Was Caleb's voice always that sharp?

I didn't get a greeting from Spencer only a, "Where were you last night?"

I did remember going with that girl for a walk, where I built up the guts to ask for her name one more time. Audrey. No forgetting now. I was grateful for Spencer to leave the door unlocked for me, I guess this is the home where I can run to now.

"A walk through the dark streets of Rosewood. " I joked. That's when I remembered the reason I willingly left my bed for. "Can I maybe get an aspirin?"

"Sure." I followed Spencer out, her eyes sent daggers at me. No it didn't seem to be at me, to something behind me. "Hello Spencer." Or better said someone.

"I'll see you soon." Audrey placed a kiss on my cheek and made her way out the house.

"What did you two do in my house?"

I took the aspirin and took a big sip of water to go with it.

"Paige, answer me. Did you two have sex?"

Thank god I downed the aspirin or I would've definitely choked on it.

"What? No Spencer!" I started to blush.

"Why are you crazy blushing like that?"

I looked at the floor. "Oh my god. You are a virgin aren't you?"

"Why do you say it so accusingly? She should be proud of that." Of course Caleb overheard.

"Yeah for sure. No I didn't mean it in a bad way. It's just you're so beautiful and you made turn heads last night. But I guess it kind of makes sense with your past."

I wanted nothing more to slowly disappear and go back to bed but not under the eyes of one Spencer Hastings.

"You remember what you told me right before we agreed to leave last night?"

That was exactly two hours ago. I have been sitting very uncomfortably on the bench in the beautiful garden of the private clinic. I insisted to wait here until I was ready to come in, Spencer silently agreed to everything I said since we left her car.

"My mother spend her lunch break here with me every single day. She used to pick me up at school, eat lunch together and then she would bring me back. I really love the flowers."

I turned to look at Spencer. "My mother was a nurse, here in this clinic. I used to know the inside of it pretty well. It's here she met my stepfather, he co-owned it. He might still own it. It's very difficult for me to go in."

"Paige." She placed a hand on my arm. "What's the name of your stepdad?" Her eyes got filled with concern. It scared me.

"Kenneth. Kenneth DiLaurentis." She took a sharp breath. "Don't tell me those stories were about him and his daughter Alison?"

I nodded yes. "You know them? They are still here? Are they your friends?" My heart was skipping a lot of beats now.

"Everyone knows them in Rosewood, The DiLaurentis and Fields are almost royalty here. Crazy rich and have done a lot good stuff in the healthcare world. But she, Ali, I know her too. Not as good as her father or I do Emily Fields of course. The DiLaurentis family are still on board but the Fields run this now."

"Yeah I remember seeing Wayne and Pam Fields. They had a daughter but I never really got to see her, she was Ali's toy to play with."

"Well yes Emily their daughter runs things now. She's a hard business woman but she plays fair. I like her. " I nodded, taking in all of the information. I might not run into Ali or Kenneth but there's a big chance I would run into Emily once I go in there.

"I'm the clinics lawyer. So as the lawyer I can go in ask what room that girl is in come back for you so we can go in together? I know my way in there, we shouldn't run in to anyone. I'll make sure of it."


	7. Chapter 7

"Now I will let you in for a few minutes on your own okay?"

I nodded. I slowly walked in averting my eyes on anything but the bed. She might hear you, so talk. I kept playing that sentence over in my head. But what can I say?

"I'm sorry for being an impulsive idiot. I'm so sorry for being the bait of a stupid car so it could hit you." What do you say to someone in a coma? "I'm sorry." That's the only thing I came up with right away. I took a seat on her bed.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know if you can hear me but the doctor I just spoke encouraged me to try. I don't know if you want to put up with me, you might want to throw me out. I want to respect those possible thoughts from you so I won't be long. I am so sorry for trying to steal something. I'm that girl you tried to chase. I'm so sorry for being selfish and not turning around when you screamed something."

By this point fresh tears were falling from my eyes. My hand roamed down to her hand. I took it in mine. My finger brushed against soft material. I allowed my eyes to leave the beautiful girls face and to look to what my fingers were feeling.

I gasped. My sobs began louder. "No. It can't be no." I was practically screaming now. I held my hand in front of mouth but it wasn't helping. Spencer and a nurse stormed in.

"Paige what's wrong? What happened did she move? Paige?"

I shook violently my head no. After a while the nurse decided to leave the room but making Spencer promise I would keep it calm. As soon we were alone I wanted to talk to Spencer, but to be more clear I had to show her.

I rolled up my sleeve, took the girls hand raised it up a little bit so Spencer could see our wrists clear. "She's my friend. She made me my friend bracelet, and I made the one she's wearing. We gave it to each other one day in the park. I never took it off since apparently neither did she."

Spencer didn't know what to say. That was okay, I have no idea either what to do next.

"She has changed so much. Especially her hair." I said.

"Damned Aria. I'm so sorry." And I started to cry again.

"What do I do now Spencer?" I try to find comfort again in Spencer's arms. Right there I made a promise to fight for Aria, to do what I can. She has to come better, I will research it tonight and come by whenever I can.

The door slowly opened. A tall tan woman dressed in black pants and white shirt entered. "The doctor told me someone was here to see Ms. Montgomery. I'm glad it's you Spencer. It's a very delicate situation, we keep this room under constant supervision. But on the other hand, seeing you is mostly a bad thing. Are you here for professional or personal reasons?"

I zoned out during the back and forth talking between Spencer and this woman. I focused on Aria, I scanned every inch of her body that I could see with my eyes. She didn't look hurt, no scratches, bandages or anything else. Only thing that bothers me are her closed eyes, the beeping noise from the machine that's responsible for her breathing. How did it all come to this?

"Paige? Paige? Are you coming?" I placed a kiss on Aria's head before following them out. I thought are time was up but the more Spencer glanced in my direction and sending comforting smiles in my direction I knew something was up.

We were back at the entrance of the clinic only we went right, this tan woman opened the door and a big office welcomed us. I glanced around, the walls were filled with pictures and diplomas. I recognized the Fields on one of them.

Something inside me changed, my stomach formed knots.

"Excuse me Spencer can you maybe get 3 coffees from the bar?" At this point I wanted to cling on Spencer for dear life or scream no. I guess I could offer to get those but Spencer was already gone with the door closed behind her. I wasn't looking at the woman next to me, I did feel her eyes on my body.

"Did I hear it right, is your name Paige?" Still not looking at her I nodded.

"Wow. I can't believe it's you. Please sit down."

She reached her hand out for me before let it fall next to her body. I felt a little more at ease knowing I'm not the only one that has no idea how to behave. This must be Emily I thought. I heard her making her way over mine, pulling a chair with her.

We were sitting unbelievable close, knees almost touching. I allowed myself to look at her, I took the woman next to me in.

Her hair was dark brown and it flowed over her shoulders. I could tell she has honey sweet lips. She's very appealing, very pleasant to look at. She's without a doubt strikingly beautiful. "Emily?" I finally choked out.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Wow, I can't get over it. You really are back." She looked at me with a certain look in her eyes, like she tried to gain all information by looking at me. "I should call my dad and let him know. They will be so happy." Before she could reach for her phone I laid my hand upon hers. "Please don't. I still try to figure my life out. I'm not ready to see the ghosts out of my past." She hesistated a moment for leaning back in her chair. "Okay. But why did you come here than? You know the chance is big you would run into my dad or Kenneth. Even Alison." I tried not to show my disgust that appeared with the mention of the latter.

"I came to visit my old friend."

"Yeah it's very sad. 23 years old and who knows how she will come out of it. If she will come back to us."

"There's still a chance right?"

"We try what we can. Her parents come in every single day to talk to her. Hearing stories can exercise circuits in the brain and trigger the first glimpses of awareness. It's scientifically proven it helps patients back to their loved ones. If they agree you can also do just that for her, if she's that important to you."

"She is. I would love to help her. I think it's my fault she's here now. If I wasn't stuipid and didn't run away she might not have ran behind me and-"

"Hey no." She squeezed my hand. "Don't finish that sentence. You didn't drive that car, you're not in fault okay?"

We remained silent for a moment.

"Shouldn't Spencer be back by now?" I wondered.

Emily laughed next to me. "No it's normal to be gone for a while here, Hanna the one behind the bar won't let you leave without knowing all your week plans."

"Oh." I gulpled. I don't know if I can survive any more alone time.

"I'm glad I finally got to meet you, Paige. I really am." She squeezed my hand another time. "I've heard so much about you, I would love to get to know you better."

She seemed sweet and genuine. But I can't, it's too risky. Spending more time with her and revealing more about me increases the possibility to run into the unwanted ones.

"Can you please not tell anyone you saw me please? I don't try to hide I'm just not ready to face everything. You have no idea how long it took for me to come inside."

"Of course. I understand. You can trust me Paige, believe me."


	8. Chapter 8

"So what are you going to do now with that information?" Spencer asked me as Caleb went to order our drinks.

"I will keep visiting her and hopefully her parents remember me and don't think I'm in fault either."

"Are you sure that's a good plan? Remember how hard it was for you to go in there? Now you're telling me you want to go there a few times a week? What happened to scared Paige?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I feel different now. "Emily runs things now and she promised to keep silent."

"But for how long?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hey, Paige. I wanted to bring you this in person, it's on me." I was greeted by a kiss on my cheek from Audrey. "Thank you." I smiled.

"I think I need a job." I blurted out without much thinking.

"You say what?" Caleb asked.

"I have to show I'm something worthy, and I think it's about time I take my life in my own hands. I just need to find something everyone can do." I could start cleaning houses or building, work in a bar, maybe in a restaurant or a clothing store.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?" Spencer asked.

"A nurse. Just like my mom." I sadly smiled.

"Maybe you should ask Emily for a job than." Caleb joked. Yeah right, I have no degree at all.

"Okay. This is creepy. Hello? Yeah she's here. Okay, one second."

I excused myself and made my way outside with Spencers phone. "Yeah, Emily?"

"Hi Paige. Sorry for bothering Spencer and you this evening but-"

* * *

Oh god Emily don't be ridiculous. Just tell her how it is, you finally met the 'black sheep of the family' you heard so much about for the past fifteen years. You're intrigued that's all. When the name Paige rolled from Spencer's tongue I knew it had to be McCullers.

I don't know if she believed me but I do only want happiness for her. My instinct tells me she's a loveable person I only hope I'm right. I'm willing to keep her from my family only because I know Alison.

"-But I wanted to call you, to ask if you want to get together for lunch tomorrow."

"Lunch sounds good. Where do you want to meet?"

"Apple Rose Grill, at noon?"

"Sounds perfect." I swear I could picture her smiling. Hanging up is the next step of this conversation I know but what's the perfect way to stall?

"Emily, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I'm taking it as a good sign she's calling me Emily and not Miss Fields.

"I was wondering, Aria?"

"I'm sorry Paige, nothing has changed."

"Oh." The pain in her voice was clear.

"I'm sorry."

"She's in good hands with you. She'll be fine."

"I know she's your close friend, and I'm really sorry." I said uncomfortably.

There was a smile silence on the line except from her breathing.

"Where are you? I hear a lot of background noise."

"I'm outside a bar. Yeah the music quite loud."

There was another long silence on the line, before an uncertain reason we were still connected.

"Which bar?" It was mostly my curiosity talking now.

"Something called The Hot Bird. Have you ever been?"

"No I haven't. I might have to stop by soon."

"Yeah you should. I see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow Paige."

"Bye Em-ily."

* * *

"I was scared you left without saying goodbye."

"No of course not Aud." I smiled sheepishly. "Goodbye."

I turned to walk away before a strong hand tugged on my wrist. I was staring right into her eyes. My heart was beating heavy in my chest, my lips were tingling, I felt warm. I can't concentrate because for whatever reason she's staring it makes my body tingling.

She kissed me goodbye. Lingering. With her warm sticky lipstick full of promise.

I was walking home with the biggest smile on my lips possible. The steady arm of Spencer kept me with my both feet on the ground. The pace of my feet slowed down. No everything is fine. I'm just a paranoid fool.

No I am not. This police officer is really standing in front of Spencer's door. My hands were shaking. Time's up.

"Hi Paige. Spencer." He smiled friendly at me, his eyes flickering with love when he said Spencer's name.

Why did he greet me that polite me if he's here to give me the third degree.

"Toby! Are you staying the night?"

Wait what. Spencer let my arm go to get swept of her feet literally by this cop. Toby. I heard his name before. Toby.

"Paige you okay? You went somewhere else for a moment." Not for a moment. I still was.

"You don't remember Toby do you? He carried you inside the morning we found you."

"So." I was scanning his unifom up and down. "Spencer told me you were doing better. If we can do something please ask okay?"

I was shocked. "Did she tell you my story?"

He looked at Spencer, than at me. "Yes. I know everything."

"Look beside the uniform please Paige. Just like you did with me."

"Of course. Thank you both." I smiled friendly. I made my way inside and to my room.

That's what I have been doing as long as I can remember. Knowing a person in a certain way but having to see them in an other light aswell.

Toby is a caring friendly person not just a cop. Spencer can be a smart winning lawyer but she's nothing but great to me. Ali was the look up to wonderful person but the most evil one if you looked through a glass. But sometimes you have to fight to see someone in a new light. You're holding on to the hope they will present themselves to you with something sparkly. Wonderful.

Emily. I want to know what's under her self created image and the image created from way back one. For some reason I want to see underneath, I just can't classify her like that. But how would others classify me?

By the broken souls? A rotten mixture between naïve, wise and brave.

Aria I thought. I need to help her to get better. For her for me. For everyone.

 **I don't want to lose my way with this story :(**

 **I guess I need to get my Paily motivation back and raise this all up.**

 **PAILY FOREVER 3**


	9. Chapter 9

"Can you please bring us a couple of Budweiser's." I must have looked at her funny, she shrugged her shoulders. "What, you can use a beer." She insisted.

Shrugging I settled back and thought why not. "I thought you were more a coffee person." I said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Why's that? Because I run a clinic and dress sophisticated?"

"No no, I didn't mean it like that." Yes I kind of did. "Here you ladies, cheers." As soon the waiter brought us our beers Emily brought hers to her lips. I looked her in awe. I looked away as soon we made eye-contact.

"So what's good here?" I asked going through the menu.

"I never got here anything bad really, but I'm going with the pasta and grilled chicken."

I nodded. My eyes were scanning the entrees options. I would never keep the image up of "I'm not that hungry" as soon I would start eating. I got it covered, Spencer gave me some money but I don't really want to use it. Knowing I don't have a choice, I rather pick something cheap.

"Actually I'm not that hungry." I closed the menu. My confession took her by surprise. "Just take what I'm taking, you'll love it. Trust me." She must know by now how that makes me feel, asking me to trust her. I find it hard to trust people but I find it equally hard not to.

"Okay." I smiled at her. "Aria?"

She shook her head no. "Sorry." No improvements.

I didn't want to dwell on certain topics but there was a big grey elephant in the room. I wanted it gone, I needed it gone.

"Emily, about my past and recent-" She held her right hand up, indicating me to stop right there.

"Ali played you, you had to leave, you had a moral fight with yourself ending up with you running away and now that story ends right here, right now. All what comes next is a new beginning."

I opened my mouth to say more but she held her hand up again to stop me. "I get it you know, I know Ali. Kenneth and everyone else is blind, I was too until she hurt me next I saw the light so to speak. She's good at it. Her dad is hers, not yours. Paige, I have to get to know you better. I have heard so many things about you mostly bad stuff but I want to judge for myself."

I waited for a few moments to be sure she was done. "Kenneth never called or visited. I don't want to play the desperation or lonely card but I really appreciate what you are trying to do. It's nice to know Rosewood has good souls too." And I really hope I won't regret letting my guard down.

She reached over to touch my hand briefly. She took a long drink and held up her hand for another. I had barely touched my first one. When she returned she brought the food along with Emily's beer, letting the silence settle between us.

The food was delicious, I ate every bite. Then we finished our beers. "You were right, so good."

I sighed, sitting back again. "Let's get moving, what you say?" She signaled to our waitress to bring the bill. I tucked my right hand in my pocket, I sighed with relief to feel the money's still there. That's a good start, discretely I pulled the money out so I could count it underneath the table. When I looked up I felt four pair of eyes on me.

I blushed. Okay maybe not the best thing to count money right here. Emily handed her card. I don't have one but I for sure know what it means. She's paying. As soon it was done and the waitress was gone I thanked Emily. "Thank you for getting it more awkward." I laughed.

She laughed back. As soon we got in her car I smoothly took out the amount of money I owed her. This is how to do it better, I thought.

She looked amused. "You don't need to pay me Paige."

"What? No please take it." Once I get back on my feet I promised to repay everything to Spencer, it would only complicate things more and make me feel like a charity case as others won't let me do the normal thing.

"Don't you know the concept of a date?" I gulped. "A date?"

"I asked you to lunch and you accepted."

"And that makes of this a date?" She grinned at my question. I felt an uneasy buzz through my body.

She laughed. "No but me wanting to kiss you while we eat lunch made it a date." My smile froze. My gaze snapped up to meet hers. I reached out above my shoulder to fasten the seatbelt and concentrate on the road.

I felt the tension inside me as she stopped in front Spencer's house. My feet were bouncing. Once I opened the door and saw she hadn't moved I went calm. I looked at her one more time before putting my right leg out the car.

Laughter came from her lips, her laugh filling the car which made me look back her way.

"Something funny?" I asked.

"Come here silly." She tugged at my arm, when I was in reach she pulled me in a hug. "Goodbye Paige." She whispered in my ear.

"Thank you again Emily."

When I got home I felt more happy than the past days. I get her though, I would like to get to know her better too. There's this strange connection to Emily that I guess can't get rid of maybe it's because she knows my past and maybe knows me deep down without the need to tell her all about me. With Spencer it's nice to feel accepted knowing she knows that little about me, Emily she accepts me and wants to see through all the horrible stories she might have heard about me.

I feel lucky. As I thought back about earlier, nerves took flight inside my stomach. She called it a date. The girl was pretty and sweet.

I noticed a note from Spencer on the fridge saying to not worry, it would be late. Oh! The one thing Spencer asked me to mention to Emily was something I completely forgot about. I have to hold in my laughter as I think back about the story from the girl at the bar in the clinic. Hanna's the name, the reason why we got cold coffees, the reason Spencer felt nervous and irritated.

The girl was definitely very forward to Spencer when it came to her lawyer clothes, her boyfriend, her job, fun facts about colleagues. Every time Spencer said she had to go the girl worked on her heartstrings with cute puppy eyes.

As I settled to watch this black and white movie I heard someone knock on the door. I slowly made my way towards the windows, a smile crept on my face.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, what a lovely surprise!" I opened the door wide to let Audrey in. "You want something to drink?" She surprised me with a hug. "No that's fine. I'm just glad you're home. I was afraid you weren't." She said rather fast.

"Everything okay?" I frowned my brow in concern.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out today."

I smiled. "Well I was just about to watch this movie, you can join me. Spencer won't be home until late tonight." She didn't need to voice her answer her face lighted up.

"During my teenage years, my father and I didn't get along as easily as it once had been. They knew I was gay and I knew how to deal with that around them. No relationships or friends were mentioned at home, my mom was pretty cool though. She wanted me to experience love, she would help me climb out the window and made sure to leave the door open so I could sneak back in. " We settled into an easy comfortable silence. Caleb apparently told her I had a bad youth and could only rely on my friends for now. I appreciated that, I understood they had to give her something as I didn't do anything. It would keep the questions away. This way I could control things a little bit more.

"So your mother helped you escape so you could go use your charm on random girls?" I teased.

She swatted my arm. "Hey, you make me sound like a player! I just loved to go dancing and yeah it was the perfect way to meet girls who normally wouldn't give me the time of day. And I also got my first kiss there, so I have to say I'm my mother very grateful." She laughed.

"When I kissed you the other day, have you ever?" She bit her lip.

"Have I ever what?"

"You know, ever kissed a girl?"

"Not really." I dropped my eyes, feeling suddenly ashamed for admitting this.

"Would you mind If I, you know?"

My cheeks were flushed, my heart was beating crazy. "Yes." I said eagerly. You won't believe if I tell you for how long I wanted to get totally lost in a perfect kiss.

She leaned over and kissed me on the lips. As the kissing continued my confidence increased, I pulled her down gently so she was hovering over me. My fingers ran along her hipbone as her hand found its way under my shirt. The feel of Audrey's skin sparked a feeling that I felt through my veins. It seemed to affect her as well as low moaning noises escaped her mouth causing our kissed to be filled with extra passion.

I decided that must be a good thing, very aroused myself I squeezed her ass receiving another moan. I repeated my movements until we needed to replace tongue with air. All movements stilled, her hand laid palm flat down on my stomach. I looked at her, I saw something in her eyes I couldn't recognize as I'd never seen it before.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "Do I suck at this thing?" My face flushed at the thought of never being able to get a girlfriend because I suck at making out. She smiled, leaned down to place another kiss on my lips with her light swollen lips. "No you most definitely do not suck at this. What you did felt really good actually."

"Oh." I surprised myself with the rawness that came out my mouth. My eyes lit up, Audrey moved so she way lying next to me on her side but half on top of me.

"I remember Spencer telling me she knows your sister, who's she?"

I heard her sigh heavy next to me. "They have a long history yes, a bad one. My sister Shana and Spencer shared classed and went at each other's throats occasionally. I like Spencer though."

I agreed. "Spencer is the best."

"I'm not certain about this." I said slowly. "Come on Paige! We haven't even gotten in the store yet." She sighed. "Are you sure you want me to take you clothes shopping?"

"Yes, just please don't get carried away. In and out okay?" I told Audrey. She laughed and I realized how that must have sounded. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. What could go possibly wrong?

"Excuse me, I love this dress but I so not have the form to wear it. Can you try it on for me please?" I looked at Audrey back at the stranger. "Wait. Are you asking me?"

"Hell yes I am. Look at you you're hot!" This stranger tugged at my arm in the direction of the fitting rooms. I desperately looked at Audrey for help. Her face looked more confused I than mine.

I didn't know why I couldn't stand up to this stranger. Maybe because she was totally nuts. Don't piss of the crazy right? I just go ahead and try it on and I will make an excuse up on the fly.

I wanted to burst out in laughter about the ridiculous happening in this store but I didn't. My face fell when I looked in the mirror. "I look so weird in this!"

"No you don't you look so wow!"

"Wow?" I raised my eyebrow at this stranger. "I think this would look better on you."

"Yeah I don't have any complaints of what my mother gave me." The girl beamed, she reacted as I did on Christmas morning when I was 5 years old. I don't know where this girl came from but she's crazy. Nice but insane. I didn't get any help from Audrey to get out. I quickly went back in the fitting room. I swear I've never hurried like this to get out.

When I came out the fitting room I handed her my dress. "I might wear this dress tonight for my boyfriend. Where is he? He might have gotten embarrassed. Guys." She rolled her eyes.

"It is a charming dress." I gave Audrey a –don't-you-start-look. "I'm just going to grab some V-necks and skinny pants." I mumbled before I turned around.

"Caleb what are you doing here?" I thought he was with Spencer instead I find him hidden in a corner caught up in his phone. His eyes clouded over my shoulder, he held his gaze with a searching look.

"Are you here with somebody?"

He nodded. "I just got back together with my ex, she came back to Rosewood and we rekindled our romance."

"Why haven't I met her yet or heard about her?"

"Spencer doesn't know. I'm scared she won't approve, she's how do I put it nicely?" He laughed. I followed his gaze.

"She's crazy. We just met."

He turned to look at me in a quick motion. "Hanna?"

"Wait her name is Hanna? Does she work at the clinic?"

Again he nodded. "Well sorry buddy to break it to you like this but Spencer and her already met."

His eyes widened in shock or maybe fear. I thought better of it to mention how crazy she drove Spencer.


	11. Chapter 11

I stopped and bought some coffee before visiting Aria. I know she probably wouldn't wake up today but if she did, she might want something else than water. Also it has a strong smell so who knows.

"You're early." The nurse said. As soon I was allowed to go in I went. I like the idea of someone being constantly there with her. The thought of her being alone when she wakes up is sad. I tried to push the thoughts away of the possibility she may hate me and not want me there.

The machines in the room got my attention, they are made to help but how can she be okay laying here like that? No comfortingly or positive words from the doctors.

"You're really freaking me out Ar. Please wake up."

"Aria, please listen to me. If you can control this, you can wake up. Please wake up."

What if she really can't or does hear me but doesn't know how to move. They never know for sure whether someone in coma has pain or not. There's nothing you can do besides sitting by her bedside. Every day is the same, her eyes are shut close. Machines beating beside her, needles in her skin to provide her body with what she needs, breathing mask on her mouth to filter the air she hardly breathes.

The guilt choked me. I had been by Aria's side for ten minutes when I heard Ella's voice from behind the door. I leant my face towards her ear. "I believe in you Aria. We can get through this nightmare together just like old times, come on now." I whispered hoping that she could hear me.

"How is she?" Byron Montgomery asked.

"Still the same, we don't know if she can hear us or not. Just don't give up trying. There's someone visiting her now."

I heard the surprise come from Mr and Mrs. Montgomery's mouths.

"Paige? Is that you?" I was pulled in a warm hug by Ella. "You have gotten so big! How are you doing?" A big lump got stuck in my throat.

"I really hope she wakes. It will literally kill me if she doesn't. I'm so sorry." I let my tears flow.

"Hey Paige, you being here after all this time is incredible. I appreciate it and I'm sure it will make Aria fight even more."

I shook my head. They clearly had no idea yet. I cleared my throat and was afraid of how they would take what came next. "On my first night back I kind of bumped into her, I just didn't know until days after and then I found about this. Then it hit me, it's my fault. The accident."

"What happened Paige? Why did you drive like a maniac?" I heard Ella gasp as Byron directed his eyes to me.

"That wasn't me." I saw the confusion in their eyes.

"Then what? I don't understand Paige." Ella said.

"I was the reason she ran out the store. I'm whom she wanted to catch and got hit in that moment."

"What?" Byron fumed. "Why didn't you let her catch you?"

"I was scared and ashamed of what I almost did. I didn't recognize her in the first place." I replied defensively. "I didn't want this."

"Want? You didn't want this?" Byron raised his voice scaring me a little.

"I really doubt Aria would hold this against you." The room's vibe shifted back to a bit of color when Ella told me she thinks Aria wouldn't blame me for this. She might not hate me for this. I'm not the real cause here. The guilt won't leave me anytime soon but hearing this from her mother, the person who knows her inside out calmed me inside.

"The police are still looking at the camera footage. We need this bastard behind bars." I'm sure the anger of Byron Montgomery can be felt miles away.

"She moved back from Iceland a few months ago. I'm glad she's here in Rosewood. If she dies at least it will be home."

I couldn't believe what I heard. "She won't die Byron!" I shouted. Ella started to cry, my tears are raging beyond control. He shut conversation down, it remained silent.

Aria. No. I moved back towards her bed, I took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. I hope she didn't hear that, she must know her dad doesn't mean it like that. He doesn't mean that it's okay for her to die here. That's not going to happen. I was squeezing her hand hard, my strength was out of my control right now. Maybe I can squeeze her conscious?"

Dying is what can happen not what will happen. "She won't." I stated.

There was so much more that I wanted to tell. All of that can wait, Aria and I will do that later in person.

I rested my head outside on the door, wondering where I would run to this time. One thing I knew for sure I had to get out.

Suddenly her warm lips were pressing gently against my own, my heart rate increased enormously. I felt a new strength in me, I used it to push her up the wall. I continued to kiss her soft lips.

I glanced at the clock suddenly feeling nervous. "You got nothing to lose, just be yourself." Audrey gave me a quick kiss as we parted. She went back to the bar and I took a seat in front of her boss.

"So you apply for a job at this bar, do you have any experience in working in a place like this?"

"No but I'm a quick learner."

He gave me a stern look as he continued to write things down.

"Great, so you really want to work here?"

"Yes, I would love to.

"Are you an alcoholic?"

I was slightly surprised. "What? No!"

"Good." He smiled. "I'll give you a shot. You can start tomorrow." He stood up, disappearing in the back.

Well I never had a job interview, but I guess this wasn't that horrible.


	12. Chapter 12

It's been almost two weeks since I returned back from hell. Just yesterday I earned my first generous tip and now I proudly paid Spencer a little bit back. It feels so good to know the people who are around me are not the enemy.

I do realize I would see the ghosts from the past regular again. I guess Emily is kind of a ghost from the past too, she occupied my mind this past week. When I was waiting for things to do or waiting for the coffee to be ready I found myself thinking about the brown-eyed honey and what kind of relationship we actually share.

When it comes to Audrey, it feels so good. I wouldn't call it love, or be able to really define it. It wasn't simple at all, it was something complex and yet it developed so fast. We are work partners and friends with a little more.

Last Monday the day was horrible from the first moment right at the start. The coffee maker was broke, costumers who pissed me off by paying with coins only. It will never make of me a Monday person. Far from it.

"Hey" I picked my phone up on the first ring. "Hey, erm I know you aren't working today but could you step by the bar soon? I need to talk to you."

"Yeah sure." The panic in Audrey's voice threw me off balance a little bit. I put my shoes on and was on my way. The main thing on my head was, she's going to break it off with me. But why now and why at the place we both work at?

"Finally." I was led into the storeroom. "What happened?" The silly thoughts from earlier completely gone as I saw the worry in her eyes.

"A guy asked for you, he said he was a detective. I didn't know what to do. He didn't tell me anything. What was it about Paige? What did you do?" She switched from worried to panic to angry as she pushed me into a rack. She was pacing through the little space making me dizzy.

"Audrey please calm down." She looked at me with fists in her side. "Now run me through what happened."

"A guy in a grey suit walked in, he eyed every female customer. I pretended I didn't see him walking in, I was kind of creeped out. He then made his way over to me, ordering whiskey. He was scribbling notes on a piece of paper, he made me feel very uncomfortable. I kept my eyes on him subtly. He broke me out of my misery buy finally talking to me. 'Excuse me, do you know this girl?'.

"It was your picture Paige! I'm not a good liar, he must have read it on my face. 'Her name's Paige McCullers.' I nodded, not thinking that I confirmed it to him. Than he asked me a few questions which I refused to answer but then he showed me his card, he's a private detective claiming he needed all the help he can get to help you. That gave me shivers, you must have heard the way he said it! Something didn't feel right but I found it the right thing to help. So I listened."

"Hey it's okay." I wrapped her in my arms. I understood her confusion, I understood the doubts, the worrying, not knowing what to do. What I have learnt over the years is that you can never blame someone for following their instinct or heart. What you think is right is mostly the right thing.

"Thank you for telling me this." I gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine." With a final peck I went back to Spencer's.

"I don't know Spencer all I know is that there's a private detective going round town asking people questions about me, triggering their memory with my picture. They want to find me, it's the Aria thing."

"Paige! Don't go crazy! Think wisely, it can't be the Aria thing you didn't steal anything. You didn't commit a crime, if you go all paranoid and insane here I'm going to strangle you. Okay?"

"Fine." I took place in her office chair to calm myself down before I get killed by a lawyer who probably knows how to cover her tracks.

"The questions he asked her aren't questions someone will ask when they want to arrest you, they want to find you to god knows what probably question you about something but what. A private detective , any idea who could've hired him?"

That's what sparked my brain. Someone hired him to look for me. Someone wants me. "Kenneth and Wayne have been looking for me, Ali tried to convince them I'm abroad."

"What? How do you know this and why the hell am I hearing about this just now?"

I looked at my feet not sure I should look Spencer in the eye at this moment. "Emily told me last weekend. She's having a hard time not telling her dad she knows where I am and that I'm doing good."

Spencer eyed me for a moment making me feel uneasy. "Okay so Ali is the main option here than. Or her dad. One of them isn't buying the abroad thing but is using it to comfort the other one or Ali tries to comfort herself by saying this. Which I can hardly imagine."

Her voice got softer. "Paige think about this really hard, they are hours or maybe days away from finding you. You can always go and find them. A possible run in the future on the street is clearly not enough from them. It's up to you to decide who's going to be first, you or them."


	13. Chapter 13

How I look at it now is that I found this place, I knew it existed all along but I re-discovered it. I like to take a step back every now and then take it all in. My next step is to decide what to do with the rest of my life, to set a goal and work towards it. My job at the bar is to get back at my feet, and I'm very grateful for the shot and for Audrey learning me all there's to know.

Life's a funny thing, I am back at the place where basically my life had started. Tonight I decided to invite Emily over for dinner, I would try to make an effort to include her in my new world.

"Thank you for inviting me over for dinner. This is very nice." Spencer prepared lasagna, the dish she calls her specialty after eating it one hundred times during her trip to Italy. Emily didn't come empty handed, she brought the perfect bottle of red wine to go with the food. Pleasing Spencer, check.

"It's weird to see you in this kind of setting but it's nice." Spencer said. "I agree." Emily responded. "It's not my intention to make you all uncomfortable, I just hope we can see past the relation I bring to Paige's past. All I want is for us to be friends."

I nodded my head. "I would like that very much." I said smiling. "I'm very happy now and I'm very grateful for everything." I spoke the latter words more directly to Spencer.

"I have been thinking about something a lot lately. I realize that my presence here will be revealed very soon, I don't want it to be a big thing but in whatever way it will happen it will kind of be big thing. I don't think I can go around that. It's maybe for the best to see Kenneth for myself, but I don't know how to do it. And Alison, what I heard from you Emily, she hasn't changed. I don't think I'll ever be ready."

The kitchen turned colder, I looked around. I really didn't know what to do, but I do know I'm tired of feeling conflicted.

"I only told my dad that I'm sure you're okay. I can keep silent for a little while longer I guess."

"Emily, there's a private detective going around. It's possible he already has your name too or it wouldn't be long I guess."

Emily stood up and left the room. As she walked away I looked over at Spencer. "Well that's weird." I silently agreed. Emily was beautiful, strong, tough, talented, kind. I do wonder now what's going on under that cool exterior.

I would be hurt if she turned me down but it was worth a try. I found her in the living room looking at the garden through the big glass window. I went to stand next to her, carefully I reached out to her waist pulling her into a gentle sideways hug.

"I don't know how you can see anything, it's dark." I joked after a minute passed. She let her head fall on my shoulder, the grip on her waist became stronger.

"I knew that man was looking for you, even before I met you I knew. Ali thought it was a good idea. You're right, soon they will link me to you and he will report it back to her and I guess that's when the bomb will explode big time."

I remained silent, listening was the best option now I thought.

"When I ran into you and Spencer that day, I couldn't just let you leave. Because you were with Spencer, who knows why she was there. I mean in sense of a law case. When she called you by your name I kind of lost it a little bit, it was a strange feeling that got over me. But when I got you alone, you calmed me. You had a calming vibe around you which makes no sense seen what's going on in your mind and life but I don't know. I guess I just felt something. I didn't hang out with you to spy or other things or to piss them off or-"

"Hey," I cut her off. " No need to getting all worked up, I never thought that. I won't think that about now to start with. I had a feeling back than in your office that you were being sincere. I took the risk to trust you, I haven't regret it. Yet." She laughed at that.

"Anyway, at least you care. They didn't even care that I was gone until the day I got back from the place they shipped me of too." Emily didn't deny that, we both know the facts.

"Can I ask you something? Just don't take it the wrong way please."

"Ask away."

"What did you actually hope to accomplish by coming back here?"

I shrugged. I didn't think that far into my plan. "I don't know. I think I just wanted to find some comfort in what I used to know I guess. To just vent."

I felt her nod against my shoulder. "What do you want to do?" She asked.

I wasn't sure if I should answer honestly. "You'll just laugh."

"I would love to hear something funny. So go on, tell me."

I smiled. "I want to create a normal life." She got out of my grip and looked at me.

"Normal? Like how?" She asked.

"You know, a life with a job, friends to go to the movies with, visit old friends to talk about all what I missed, fall in love, get bored in the daytime, not having to worry about money."

All Emily really did was chuckle. "So what you want is what the most of us find boring?"

I nodded. "I told you it was crazy."

I decided to change the subject. "Let's go before Spencer finished everything by herself.


	14. Chapter 14

**wow! I think I'm doing a better job with this than I first thought!**

 **I'm so happy to read your reviews! Thank you so much!**

 **Tony : I'm glad you like the story! Yes there will be Paily moments later on, I try to work towards it :). Paily for sure!**

* * *

We were making our way back into the kitchen as the doorbell rang. I went to answer it, confidently I opened the door without looking through the window. I hesitated several seconds to open the door a bit wider, I was glancing over my shoulder. If I only could beeline my way over to the kitchen door and close it fast. I wasn't in the mood for this kind of drama how ironic it may be that it's happing right now.

I was dying to ask her how she had known where to find me, would she lie to me? I decided to stay right there, I know that she won't leave easily but I won't let her inside no matter what she tried.

As soon I had opened the door a few inches and a slice of her face became visible I couldn't believe the guts that this woman had. "Hi Paige, how are you?" I flinched when I heard her voice.

"Can I come in? It's easier to talk that way." I was irritated that she thought I was stupid. She had come here with a well thought out plan, maybe I'm thinking worse things than what it exactly is but a woman got to be careful right? Woman can be snakes after all.

"Aren't you really going to talk to me Paige? I'm your sister! I'm so happy I found you! I don't know where to start to tell you how worried I was." She reached out to touch my arm. It was a quick movement but also gentle. I couldn't believe she was here, telling me this. Another sister would pull her sister in a big hug, tears flooding after all these years. And I was standing here, feeling the lasagna being very present in my stomach.

"I was so young and selfish. Now I can help you and you can help me. Don't you want to start over?" I wished that we could go back and do things over, but that was wishful thinking. I don't believe she has many wishful bones. I couldn't do this with her, not now, not ever I'm afraid.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to say something. "I don't think there's an relationship possible between the two of us. You have no idea how my life changed, I'm finally in a good position. Bye Alison." I stepped back inside and closed the door, not giving her or myself the chance to say another word.

"You okay?" I closed my eyes and gave her a small laugh. She looked at me with her soft eyes, she wrapped her arms around herself. "I hid myself behind the door as soon I recognized who it was, I hope you don't mind I listened in."

"No, that's okay. Do you think Spencer heard?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Not sure."

"She didn't ask about you."

"Doesn't mean she doesn't know I'm here right now."

"You can leave through the backdoor, you can be back at your place before-"

"Hey, I have nothing to hide. I might not be telling something but-"

"Let's get back to Spencer." Now it was my turn to cut her off. We threw small smiles in each other's direction. The conversation stayed on safe topics. It was better if we left certain things unsaid, we only try to apologize to each other with other words. While it's not necessary at all. It's like making sure the other one is doing really okay in another way.

"Where's Caleb? Haven't seen him around lately." I asked Spencer.

"He's at his girlfriends. His loud crazy girlfriend."

Emily raised her eyebrow looking at me. I had to hold a laugh back when I thought about how all of that is true. "Yeah. She's definitely a character." I smiled.

"It's the clinic girl right? The one who talks until your coffee is cold, makes you a new one talks some more until that one is cold and you're nervous as hell but not because of the coffee or the adrenaline it gives you."

Emily gasped. "Caleb is dating Hanna? Caleb is the one why she's always late in the morning?"

I laughed. "Yeah that's the one. You know she stopped me the other day in the store making me try on a dress."

Now Spencer was joining our laughter. "No freaking way! She didn't do that!'

"I swear!"

"So how are you and Audrey doing by the way?"

I smiled, looking down at my feet as we sat down in the couch flicking through some channels as Spencer poured us some more wine.

"We're doing alright. We went to dinner for the first time three days ago. Thank you for giving me that idea Spence."

"Good I'm glad." Spencer looked genuinely happy for me. "I hate her sister Shana but Audrey is a good one."

"Who's Audrey?" Emily's soft voice filled the room. "The girl she's seeing." Spencer casually answered not looking from the screen to look at us. I gave Emily a quick ashamed smile. Why ashamed?

"I had dinner the other night too, with Toby and his parents. It's weird their relationship, it goes back and forth all the time."

"Yeah I know about those." Emily took a big sip from her glass.

"What about you Emily? How's your life love going?" It was really weird to ask, for one I kind of have a love life going on and I actually don't want to know the answer.

She said nothing. Emily said nothing, she only shook her head. She looked at me, no more she looked through me or for sure was trying to. I had never thought about her being with someone, I don't even know which gender she prefers. I won't think about it too much but it was certainly possible she would think about girls sometimes.


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you sure the couch will be comfortable enough?" I asked stepping into the light of the TV. Emily looked up, startled.

"I thought you already went to bed. Yes, it will be alright."

I turned to get the blanket out of the closet. "You know sometimes I don't know what real love is anymore." She said sitting up on the couch. I looked at her confused, not sure how to respond to this revelation. So I said nothing and gave her the blanket.

"I always thought I was in love with Alison." She turned off the TV. Only silence filling the room now. "Now I wonder if I was blinded by the fact she was the first girl I ever liked."

I smiled when she admitted she's into girls, I didn't know if I should smile at the thought of her being all lovey-dovey with Alison.

"I never questioned it." She continued. She turned away her eyes turning misty. I didn't know what was going on with her.

"You're so beautiful you know." I felt tears welling in my eyes at the sight before me. Me too , felt like I have been on a rollercoaster lately, all routine gone. Like always I feel like I have a million things to say but when I'm around her I can't form any interesting sentence. So again I didn't say a thing.

My heart clenched at every tear she shed. All the moves I could make felt cold. I wanted her to feel warm and loved. I took her hand and led her away from the couch and out of the living room. I don't want her to sleep on the couch, while she's crying. That's an ideal way to feel even more rotten. I want her in a warm bed with fresh sheets with an amazing scent, to keep her safe.

We walked into my bedroom, closing the door quietly behind us. No matter what, the keyword between the two of us has been trust.

"People show their love in different ways, you know. The only thing that's always there is support. They will always be there for you when you need them and never give up on you."

She looked at me and smiled. "What?"

"I didn't expect you to say that. How you say it's simple either they love you or not by supporting you."

"I assume it's not that simple?" I said as she squeezed my arm.

Flashes of sunshine were falling through the curtains. I leaned over to grab my phone to read the time. I groaned. Way too early. Emily lay curled up beside me, her face nestled in the curve of my shoulder, her leg thrown across mine. I wasn't sure how she ended up tangled around me. I felt with her last night, I showed her my bedroom. We started talking so I laid down beside her not remembering falling asleep. I had to smile at the sight, I very careful bent down to plant a kiss on her forehead.

I watched her for a few minutes, taking in her peaceful features. She's so beautiful.

"Urgh." Emily moaned blinking her eyes while accustoming to the light.

"Good morning." I greeted her with a smile. "Hi" She said still half-asleep. "Have you been awake for long?" I shook my head, mesmerized by those brown eyes that had just opened. Processing wasn't even possible, I was held in an embrace straight away.

"Am I dreaming?" She asked. I laughed somewhat confused, not sure what she meant.

I was disappointed when it was time for her to go home. When I came back from the bathroom I saw her spraying my perfume on her neck. Her eyes were closed taking the scent in. My mind was debating whether to go back out of the room or if it would be okay to stay here.

She gathered her coat and purse and got ready to leave. "Hi there. Do you have everything?" The blush on her cheeks were so adorable. I walked her out of the door, I kissed her on the cheek and waved as she opened the taxi car door.

When the car was out of sight I walked back only to be scared the crap out of me as Spencer stood there watching me with an amusing smile on her face.

"Hey Paige. I didn't see your name on the shift board today."

"I'm not working today I just wanted to see if Audrey's in."

"Yeah she's on her break." I thanked Brian and went to the back. What I walked in on there was something I never imagined happening. I wasn't in their sights so I could run off but I wanted them to know I saw them.

I looked around me, burning. I was shaking with anger. My eyes exploding with tears, I made a lot of noise while running out of there. I ran and I kept running. "Why the hell did you kiss my girlfriend?" I screamed in the middle of the street.

I wanted to scream in her face, in both their faces. I felt completely lost, I didn't know what was real what wasn't. Was she being evil when she kissed Audrey or was Audrey the evil one when she kissed Ali? Was it a big game between them, that went on for a while already? Were they the players and I was getting played?

Since when did I started to get mellow anyway, when did I start to trust people so easily?

A coma, a place where you're alive but not awake. Would you be safe though? Guarded from all the pain and pouring rain? Or would you feel trapped like how I feel at this moment. Trapped between being gullible and stupid.

"Hey Paige." I slowly let go of the handle of the door to Aria's room. "I didn't think I'd see you again so soon."

"What can I say? I'm young and curious." She chuckled. I was beating me up, damn McCullers what was that?

"That can get you into trouble." She smiled. I was grateful they allowed me in whenever I wanted, I'm sure Emily had something to do with that. "I just want to talk to her." I said.

"Yeah of course. I'll be in my office if you need me." I felt her wanting to step closer to me, her feet were almost dancing. Step to the front, step to the back. I could tell she was analyzing my eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey, do I interrupt?" I knocked on Emily's office door. I spent the past two hours by Aria's bedside, sobbing. The prior events made me feel exhausted, as soon I woke up from falling asleep next to her I went in total shock. Her eyes were open. Her pierce brown eyes were no longer hiding, I was lost in them, they were so beautiful. Nurses and two doctors ran in the room, her parents were being called. I was send to wait outside, it was like my mind was numb. I couldn't think, couldn't comprehend anything.

She's still in a coma but her eyes are open. She's improving. Her brown eyes make her pale skin look more colorful, less sick but more healing. It all came suddenly, like everything in life.

As soon her parents arrived they were hovering over her bedside, feeling content that someone was there with her, but also guilty that it wasn't them.

"Of course not, come in." I sat down in the desk chair. At this point I was really uncertain about my mood. Was I angry or just upset, grateful of what occurred later today. There was always something oddly calming about cooking, until I start to think about all the cleaning up that awaits.

"How about you continue working here while I make you a dinner meal?"

"What?" She looked up from all the paper work that she was busying herself with.

"I'd cook anything you like. Please let me do this for you."

Emily nodded as she handed me her key to the loft.

When I was finished, I nervously handed it to Emily. She was silent as she tried one bite and then another. I tried to read her face but couldn't tell what she was thinking. Finally she cracked a smile and I had to let out a sigh of relief.

"That's so good. It's definitely a welcoming change from take-out and my mother's leftovers she drops off few times a week."

"You never cook?" I was surprised with this revelation.

"I have no time with work, and I'm not a great cook." She laughed.

"I'll tell you what, on crazy busy work days you call me. I'll make you a nice home cooked meal. Or I will just drop by when I'm not working." The prospect of going back to the bar makes me sick. "Just hire me as a cook, will you." I tried to let out a funny smile but it sounded more as someone who was choking on breath.

Emily could only stare at me. And I could only curse myself, don't act so stupid McCullers!

"Paige, are you going to make me fish for it?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I better go home it's late." I stood up to gather my stuff and bolt my way out.

"If it will be like this I don't think I'll have an opening for a chef anytime soon."

I couldn't believe my ears.

"Excuse me?"

She grinned as she continued eating. She knew she got me trapped.

"Okay." I sighed. Since she already knew about the Aria part I had no choice to dive in. I didn't realise until now how bad this all is. Once again I'm about to drag her into my problems.

My mind was running and kept on running. "Audrey already found someone else." I tried to sound as carefree as I could.

"What? When did you two break up? Are you okay?"

"We never did." I stammered. "Oh Paige." I pulled her flush against me, I didn't want my tears to roll down. Also her arms looked so inviting. I nestled my face in the crook of her neck, the smell of her perfume suddenly hitting my nose. Or should I say, my perfume.

"Are you going to break up with her?" I almost didn't understand her question, it was so soft and silent. My heart jumped a little bit with joy as it reminded me that some people still genuine care and are trust worthy. "She might deserve a break up but-"

"But you love her." Her voice cracked. I found myself incredibly happy with her, yes. "No." But it wasn't love, not yet anyway.

"I'm not even sure I should confront her."

"You didn't slap her?" I laughed. "What?"

"Oh I would slap the crap out of her and of that other bitch." The laughing was over now. The other woman. Another way how I drag her in all of this mess. Honesty won the on-going battle in my head. "If I should have slapped that one every time she took something that's mine, well let's say it would be a day job."

The grip we had on each other loosened slowly. Our eyes came on the same level, my hand rested on her waist. "It was Alison." Her eyes turned cold and hard. I placed my thumb and one of my fingers on her chin, as I forced her to look back straight in my eyes I saw her eyes becoming soft and gentle again.

"Break up with her." She sounded harsh, my easy relaxation was gone.

I tried to call Audrey, I was send straight to voicemail. She usually always answered her phone. She must be really busy, I guess. I slipped my phone back into my pocket.

But then my mind went back to Aria, there was so much good news in that category. It's unbelievable how someone can be gone for quite a while on the fence of leaving for good or coming back for a while. I wandered down to the first floor and went to the cafeteria. When I arrived I thankfully found it was still open.

I needed a drink and my usual place became suddenly off limits. "Hey Hanna."

"Hi. Caleb told me all about you." I chuckled at that.

"That's hard to believe." I felt for once not pushed to say more than I wanted to, it came naturally. Maybe I needed some fresh pair of ears, maybe she could point something to me in my self-pity that I have missed.

"People who are meant to be together sometimes take a break and find their way back to each other."

"Are you talking about Emily and Alison? I don't know them as a couple but something just feels wrong with even just picturing that."

"Yeah that one is a tarantula of a daughter."

"What?"

"Nothing." She sighed. "I wasn't talking about them."

"Audrey and I?"

"If you continue that, you'll end up being depressed. Seriously, think about it. You know it, you just don't know that you already know it."

I paid for my drinks and started my walk back home. She makes me feel so confused but sounds so smart at the same time like she really knows what she's talking about. Maybe I do have to think about it.


	17. Chapter 17

When in the future someone asks you, "Have you ever lost your temper between the ages of 19 and 23?" I'm so going to tell them all about today. You find yourself surrounded with the friendly man at your doorstep who are getting angrier and angrier on the way to the destination that they hope might not be the final one. They like something with bars better as the final destination.

They keep asking you questions to figure out a motive because they believe you don't wake up one day and decide to steal money. I didn't hesitate when they requested me to join them to the police station, I was going to tell them the story and that would be it.

No that wouldn't be it. I have been stuck at the Rosewood PD since this morning. Apparently my aunt has been obsessing over me this past almost three weeks. After I first 'confessed' to having taken the money and then stating it was actually my money to begin with that she took from me, I've been given the name liar. Nice. I tried to tell them everything, how sweet she was at first until I trusted her. I had to stay home few days a week from school to do the household for her and some of her friends. I cooked for crazy old ladies who paid very good. Well that's the money she spent on her damn alcohol. So the day she got arrested was the day I found courage to took what I earnt and got the hell out of there.

Who can arrest me for sticking up to myself? I told them over and over that they had to understand, I didn't steal her damn money, she stole mine. The bastard! "But you did confess to taking the money, young lady." Well because I did, but hey hear me out?

I buried my face in my hands and laid down on the table until I was requested to sit up good. One of the officers gazes met mine. "I see darkness and I see you young lady. Tell me, what else did you steal shoes, purses, boys hearts?" He thinks he's so funny.

The only thing that I valued right now, is new friendships. When I finally was allowed to make a call I used it wisely, Spencer.

"When someone offers you money for a bus ride, does that look like stealing to you?" After Spencer was let in I had to listen to her lecture me about stupid answers and not talking sometimes works better for me. When a certain Officer Cavanaugh was assigned suddenly to involve with my 'big' money issue everything became a party. I was under pressure of those older men who kind of forced me to go along with what I was accused of. My final word was, I was allowed to take the money to take the bus back home.

And so simple it was. I was free to go, after dealing with a swat on my arm from Spencer Hastings of course. "We need a drink let's go." I let myself be pulled inside. I made a call this morning to my boss on Spencer's and Caleb's careful watch of course, since he was already planning to fire me anyway he just did on the phone so I didn't need to quit for myself. Thanks for destroying the remaining dignity I had but I was free. No job, no one to cuddle with. Back to square 1.

When I got served my second drink it was when the shifts changed. Audrey's shift started, I knew I had to break up with her. She was basically parading in front of my face. Spencer was drink speeding this afternoon. "Audrey!" She shook her glass, signing she wanted another scotch.

"So Spence, can you give me a quick lesson? How to break-up 1.0 or so?"

"Give her a classic line, smile at her as to tease that you were only joking, than you follow up with a real breaker and you get up and leave. And never come back until you need a good screw."

"Okay. Why don't you lay off those drinks Spencer? It's only 4pm."

"I might change this into water, I'll be right back." I smiled appreciatively at Audrey.

"Spencer, are you okay? Did something happen with Toby?"

"No I'm good." She started laughing. A creepy laugh. A certain voice told me to just do it. I was on my second strong drink, I can blame it on that if anything goes the wrong way. Or when it goes wrong I can justify it as, it's just one of those bad days.

"Ehm Audrey. I'm sorry but we have to stop seeing each other now." I smiled at her. "It's not you it's me." I continued. "Yeah I kind of saw your tongue in another one's throat so I'll have to break up with you." I talked so fast I really sighed of relief when I was done. Spencer shook her head with disapproval. I frowned my brows at her, following the path that her wise finger was taking. Her drunk eyes lead her wise finger straight into Audrey's eye. She seemed to welcome it to cover the other reason why her eyes were wet.

"I really have fallen for you Paige. That was a big mistake I'm so sorry. She just told me how pretty I was and that I'm the most cute bartender she has ever seen, she swooned me."

"Well that wasn't supposed to happen." Spencer slurred out for me. I couldn't say anything, I was still stuck on the first part of what came out of her mouth. No one has ever fallen for me.

"Audrey I-" I wanted to comfort her, it broke my heart to see her in such a state. "I think I have to cook for myself now." I mumbled as she walked away.

"That's a good idea! I need a big like huge hamburger with extra cheese!"


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey, I went shopping today and I thought why don't I buy some extra stuff for Emily." I walked into her kitchen as she let me in. Just as last time her cabinets were pretty empty like her fridge. I was so caught up in finding out where everything belongs that I at first didn't notice she didn't move from her spot. Still standing by the door with her eyes all puffy and red.

I gathered the empty coffee cup on the table and handed her a now-filled one. I tugged at her arm to come sit next me. "You want to find out how of a great listener I can be?" I tried to break the tension somewhat, I did get a small smile in return so I can say I'm doing okay.

"I can be there for you in another way. What cheers you up?" Of course I won't get any reaction out of that, she isn't in the mood to tell me her story so why would she admit that something's wrong and she needs to be cheered up. "I don't mean to push but I know how it is when you wish someone would push but no one's there to listen."

"Paige" She scooted closer to the edge of the couch, placing the coffee cup on the little table in front of it.

"It's important to me that I'm here for you like you were there for me." I shyly admitted.

"I appreciate that but you can leave if you don't really want to deal with something sad."

"Hey, I want to be here." I scooted closer to her, only a small gap between our legs remained. I got her to look up at me, I would understand if nothing would come out of it but I'm glad she appreciates that I'm around. I don't know what I would do if she would get up and leave at this point in my life. I don't know if I can handle things without her in my little bubble. It's just so great to leave Spencer's and arrive at Emily's fifteen minutes later.

* * *

When we arrived in my bedroom, I had to give her a kiss on the cheek before I allowed her to take another step inside. I wanted her to feel that this was not easy for me but also how content I am for her willing to listen and trust me. I don't have to fool anyone here, I saw an opportunity and I took it mainly to calm myself but still.

I thought about how hard it would be to tell Paige about my relationship with Ali, it wasn't that hard as I imagined. Only because how great she was, she never made me feel like that was an issue between the two of us. The hardest thing is trying to tell her that I want more from our relationship, I rather pretend in my head that she denies me than really living through that pain. Right now I don't know what I would do without her.

Entering the room, I watched her laying her eyes on my stuff taking everything in. A room comes closes to someone's heart. I had to close my eyes when she sat down on the bed waiting for me to join. If she would only know how that started too many dreams in the short period that I got to know her.

"Spencer told me this morning she's working on a new case about the one that drove into a young worker of that night shop around the corner."

I took her hand in mine, I caught myself drawing little heart on her hand. I could stop myself in time she could possibly notice. I think. I decided to not say a thing and just listen to her telling about how her morning with Spencer went. I could tell her that I already knew, that a drunken Spencer in crazy state called me to ask if I could tell her about Aria's state because she's assigned to defend a pig. Which I totally didn't understand since her company also works with my clinic and hello Paige.

I would prefer to lose any job over her any day. As I started talking about Hanna's latest stunt involving being manipulated into giving chocolate bars to a diabetic old annoying man. As I started talking I saw that she was finally distracted. I decided to talk about anything that crossed my mind, at this time we moved up the bed leaning against the headboard.

She was so distracted from her worries that she was laughing along with me and adding some of her memories from her early childhood. I was really happy she was willing to share those with me but what distracted me is how her hands kept on moving while she spoke. My eyes focused on her finger, imagination was a wonderful thing.

I glanced away but something made me turn back. There it was again, the expressive hands with the finger. I wasn't imagining it, she was moving very close to my leg. I reached out for hand and kissed it. I felt something flutter in my stomach but I realized something in the moment. As quick I brought her hand up to my mouth as quick I let go of hers. She was silent but I could see a very clear blush. I didn't expect her to give me a hug but it was very welcome especially a tight long one like this.

We needed a walk. "Let's go to the park. Let me get my coat." God Emily. What was I thinking? Why did I think I could brush it off as you know I'm bringing to my room like you did the other night you know to calm me down. She was calming me down, I only made her upset trying to take advantage.

My thoughts were poison the fresh air did so good, there was no telling how long for we were out only that I was wasting time. "Somebody I once loved died today, but I dumped her to get with Ali because everybody seemed to think we belonged together but now I know that's so not true. I guess today reminds me of love in a bad way." And how my dad told me about someone unannounced would land my way pretty soon, the day before you returned. I tried to hide the smile that would cover my entire face. What can I say, I did the math and the heart feels what it feels. I can only add to that how grateful I am for my dad right now.

If only.

"Well I guess I have to thank you for sharing that with me. I said before it's quite important to me it may sound crazy but I just feel like I can talk to you about anything and it's nice when that feeling is mutual." I looked up at her in time to see an adorable look on her face going along with an head dip that I'm sure will be the end of me if she keeps doing it.

"I feel the same way. When you allow yourself to include someone else the world doesn't feel that small anymore."

"I know what you mean. I look at the world like it's fighting me but that strong feeling disappears when I talk to you." I couldn't give her beautiful words only a shy smile as I reminded myself to get a damn grip.

I opted for a hug. "I'm so happy you found me Paige."


	19. Chapter 19

"BOO!" I laughed hysterically as I managed to scare Spencer as I attacked her from behind. "Are you trying to give me a stroke?"

"Sorry Spence, I couldn't resist! So what are you doing?"

"Working."

"You need to stop working all the time and get out more."

"I know I know but hey I got to feed another person now so I can use the money." She smiled. My smile dropped. She's totally right, I had a job and got out of it. "I will look for another job, I promise Spencer."

"So how's the love life?" It was my turn to laugh again. "Better than before I guess since it used to be non-existing."

"I get the feeling this is going somewhere …" She teased.

I sighed. "Is this how's it going to be from now on? You always assuming there's a girl that rocks my world now I had my first relationship?" When she hummed at my question, I couldn't help but let my mind drift to all those movies where friends set you up on these horrible dates and tease you with it for years to come.

"Mind if I check my mails?" I went to Spencer's office to use her computer, there were a couple of emails politely giving me a no. Also a couple job adverts that make me curse under my breath, really they see me as an electrician? Like I can become a pro at that in less than a week. I got a new e-mail coming in. 'Congratulations' was the subject. Frowning I clicked on the mail. I froze.

I seriously think my heart stopped. I went completely numb. I stood up, then sat down, turned circles with the desk chair. "SPENCER! I GOT A JOB." I shouted .

I clutched my heart with one hand. "And a date." I announced when Spencer fell through the door. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.

Emily. Actual. Fields.

"Emily, she came through." I smiled. My heart fluttered when I re-read this beautiful official email, kind of out of the blue since I thought she understood I was joking and desperate at that time. But, I actually got a job in her apartment above the clinic. So I can go visit Aria more. I was unbelievable happy with this, I wanted to thank and call her but the last part is what held me back from doing so.

"Are you okay? You look kind of pale." I looked up and just stared at Spencer. I'm more than fine I'm ecstatic. I looked back at my screen and grinned.

 _'You can start tomorrow night at 6pm. I'll take the candles out.'_

I quickly took out the phone Spencer bought me a few weeks ago to compose a text to Emily. I wrote and deleted over and over again. I was determined to find the right words, well maybe not the right ones but at least good ones to send her. If I was going to be this crazy happy fool for the rest of the day I better thank her. But what can I actually say, shall I mention something about the tomorrow night thing or not? What if there's in fact a date request between the lines to read for me? Then she would be disappointed if I leave that box empty for her.

 _Emily, I don't know what to say. Thank you so much! I promise you I'll be the best company ever for your place. I'm lacking words to thank you properly. I'll see you definitely tomorrow night ._

My thumb hesitated over the button that would sent the text, before I could change my mind I sent the message.

"You're taking that job right?" I had been so in the moment that I totally had forgotten about Spencer being here. "Yes of course I am!"

"And are you taking the girl too?" My face totally flushed at that.

"If that woman would show any interest in me I don't think I'd still be conscious right now. That woman is hot and damn sweet." I nodded a long with Spencer's words. The words conscious brought me out of my ecstasy.

"Spencer? What do I do when this thing with Emily is what I assume it is?"

"Well, if you want to you go for it if not than you should be honest with her. But if you're doubting her because of those other people, talk to her about it. But listen to me, it isn't a good reason!"

"That's not what I meant." I played with my fingers in my lap as I took a seat at the counter in the kitchen. "What if the thing with Emily and Aria wakes up?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to say? I don't see a problem here Paige."

I waved my hand, dismissing the subject. I was drinking some wine when my phone buzzed. Unlocking my phone I took a deep breath and held it. One new text.

 _Hey Paige, your welcome. Well I had to find a way to keep you close right, so I can stalk you. In a good way of course ;) See you tomorrow than xx_

I let my fingers trace over the message, it's not the same as going over someone's handwriting but this comes from her anyway. I'm new at this thing but I know what x means. I can't help but wonder if she just did it or debated with herself whether to do it or not and how many.

I fought the upcoming urge to just stand up and dance around the room, I wanted to reply straight away. Since there was no question in it I might just sound giddy and needy so I better don't reply. Since she's my boss now. Or I can wait a few more hours. Or not since I don't want to seem too eager.

I wanted to ask Spencer and ask her what I should do but at the same time I don't want her to tease me about it, this could be a thing between Emily and I. And I liked the idea of having a thing just between the two of us.

And how do you even reply to a text that contains a winky face?

"Hello my lovely girls!" I grabbed the donuts Caleb brought with him and decided to eat all of them in the couch. I had a little déjà vu when Caleb and Spencer were watching me intently when I was licking my fingers clean in the couch.

"What's going on?" I asked looking back at both of them.

"Caleb was just wondering something." Spencer mumbled, the feeling that came over me felt bad. Bad vibes.

The following moments they were beating around the bush, Caleb whispered something in Spencers ear. The donuts were a nasty trick. I ran out the house, as soon Caleb finally told me. I couldn't wipe the smile of my face the entire way to the clinic. Why did it took me so many years to have a damn good day?

"Hey! I came as soon I knew! Caleb told me and Hanna told him, Hanna heard it from someone that works here." I ran in Aria's room out of breath. There was a handsome big man standing next to Mr and Mrs Montgomery. "Mike?" Wow. "You were just a baby last time!"

Ella told me everything, she was so sure her mind was playing things she prayed for so many times. But than, when Mike came in he saw it too. They did a bunch of test which were just finished. "I can't believe she moved her leg." I received a squeeze on my shoulder and a smile. Her family made their way out to give us some privacy.

"Hey there, I heard you're doing a good job. I'm glad you're fighting on. I really believe I can finally hold you in my arms again very soon, I'm so proud of you." For the first time in a long time I felt okay with reaching out to her and cupping her cheek. I could see straight into her eyes, I bent down and placed my lips on her forehead.

"Please wake up sweetheart. You're on the right track."


	20. Chapter 20

**I was confused when I read some reviews, than I saw something changed with the last chapter. It's okay now. I don't know what went wrong. Some of you might read chapter 19 first again :)**

 **THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME!**

* * *

When you go somewhere to cook for a special person what do you wear? I was staring at the clothes in my closet, would a dress be over the top? Would jeans be too casual? A suit thing would be too formal. What do I wear when it's partly work but that person wouldn't appreciate too much of a work outfit? I need something in between. I shook myself. I'm so ridiculous for worrying about this. I might not even be a date, basically I could wear whatever I want. It shouldn't matter.

But I remember the way my skin felt when Emily woke up next to me, that tingle had gone all the way down to my spine. Her mention of candles. The way my lower lip suddenly felt aching and begging for something. She wasn't Audrey. Not everyone cheats at the start, not every woman cheats when you let yourself be vulnerable, when you trust someone with your heart not everyone takes advantage.

Anyway, the attraction might be one-sided. Women must be queuing up to date someone as gorgeous as Emily Fields. I decided to go with black pants and a white shirt which can mean about anything.

Five minutes before six I knocked on her door, adrenalin fizzed through my veins. She opened the door, I tried to balance the boxes on one knee to hand her over the bouquet of flowers I picked up along the way, another way to say thank you. Hoping the gesture would earn me some good points.

"Thank you, that's really sweet." She smiled. "Come in, I need to find a vase. You can make yourself comfortable."

I went in and made my way to the kitchen, dumping the boxes out there. I went over to where Emily was focusing on the flowers. "I better get started on the food." I said. I didn't mean to get this meal over and with, I was just so nervous.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked.

I laughed. I thought cooking wasn't her thing? "You can put your feet up and be spoiled." I smiled. "Unless you want to cook with me?"

"Well I probably have to admit I'll ruin your meal."

"So you don't want to be my sous-chef?" I faked to be hurt, the thoughtful look on her face appeared. I started to smile again, I saw her relaxing with me. Maybe this wouldn't be bad at all.

"Is it alright if I watch you cook?" She asked.

"Sure." Suddenly I became very aware I'm in her kitchen, not mine. "I probably should've run the menu by you first."

"I'm sure it will be delicious whatever you make." Thankfully she's oblivious to the crazy whirl of thoughts in my head.

"How does crab cakes sound, griddled lamb and a trio of desserts?" I have loved cooking for as long as I could remember, challenges are my fave. And I had to wow Ms. Fields right?

"Sounds wonderful. But trio of desserts?"

I gave her a smile. "Let's just say I want to experiment with something." I winked.

"I won't take too long, I prepared what I could at Spencer's. Oh yeah I brought some wine, it's in the other box. If you like."

"Sure, I'll take care of the wine." I looked around the kitchen, all the free space caught my attention. She must have cleaned up and thrown some stuff out.

"Thanks." I said as she handed me a glass. There was something about her, something about the way she moved. Something that want me to know more about her, and much better.

"Paige?" Oh no please don't let her have caught me ogling her. "Sorry, bit distracted. I will start now." I didn't mean to keep zoning out but my body is highly aware of Emily watching me.

"I can't believe how fast you work." A few minutes later she said watching over my shoulder. I could feel her body heat.

"It comes with practice. You should have seen me in the beginning." I laughed. Heat roses up my spine as she took a step closer, her front is almost pressed in my back.

"This must be your passion." Passion. Even if she was the most attractive woman I had met in a long time, nothing was going to happen. Basically, I needed to get a grip. And soon.

I decided to leave the chocolate for the dessert how it is, I took a spoon and dipped it into the mixture and held it out to her. I saw her leaning slightly forward as she tasted from the spoon. This felt very intimate, I couldn't help but watch her. I took a deep breath to calm myself but she threw that option out of the window as she licked the spoon clean.

"Oh my god." She whispered. "More?" My eyes widened at the sexy slow smile she gave me along with her words. I knew she meant chocolate not something else to lick. Everything in my head has to really go away. Like really. My pulse rose as I saw a bit against the corner of her mouth. With the tip of my finger I removed it to put in my mouth to suck it clean, unconsciously we kept eye contact the whole time.

"Paige." She whispered softly. And then she leaned forward and kissed me. I tasted chocolate and Emily. Wonderful combination. Soon her hands were in my hair, I wrapped my arms tightly around her. I felt completely in heaven she was kissing me so hard. Her mouth was warm against mine, she opened her mouth and let me deepen the kiss. It was pure bliss.

A part of mine knows this shouldn't be happening, another part of me was so glad that this was happening. We were finally acting on what was left for the both of us to think about but never spoken about. Her hands were really stroking my back, her movements felt so sure. No hesitation in it.

When I broke the kiss I was slightly shaking. "Sorry that wasn't supposed to happen." I said, looking sheepishly at the ground. I felt panicky, I wanted this and didn't want it. "I need to put the macarons in to bake." I said pulling away.

"I think I'm pretty much ready. Where do you want to eat?"

"Kitchen table, I don't have a dining room if you haven't noticed." She smiled. As promised she brought out candles with her silverware.

A lot of topics were avoided, I was beating myself up. Someone has to say something before we start talking weather.

"I'm sorry Paige. I just couldn't help myself, earlier." She softly whispered after dessert was cleared. When she took my hand, I looked down at the way they were joined. Sighing I looked towards the windows. "It's raining." I said softly.

"Stay with me a little bit longer." She brought our joined hands up to her lips.


	21. Chapter 21

It was still raining two movies and a wine bottle later. "Stay the night."

"I can't." It seemed too intimate and different this time, and what if the wine starts to speak for itself? I can't talk to her in the dark where the intensity of words increase.

"I've been over and over it in my mind, trying to figure out what I could've done differently, I admit I'm not the best judge of character of a happy home."

"Emily what are you talking about?" She sat upright on the couch, there was a light glow over her face from the screen. I was replaying her words in my head, trying to understand the meaning of her words. "Emily?"

"I have been thinking a lot lately, you, the past. Seeing you at the sidelines. I can't imagine how it must feel to feel like an intruder in your own family, home. Now I'm thinking how such a shame it is to not being able to tell you every day how beautiful you are. You are so worth of being loved, you're beautiful Paige. Every time I see I regret not saying it." When she slowly whispered that I probably won't believe her it was my cue to look up and meet her eyes. I was slowly becoming my own person on my own terms not in a forced way, believing someone calling me beautiful and get sad about everything makes me feel something I hardly can explain. "It's hard to believe when you entire life you've been told differently."

"Even if you not let me, I don't want you to forget. You're Paige, very much so. " She took a deep breather making it sound as she wanted to add something but more didn't come. When I saw her watching my lips, and slowly started to move towards me I knew in what category I had to look for her unspoken words. She relieved me from my guessing as she told me. "I would love to be that person, that loves you until the end of time and a lot of other corny and cheesy things that I always found stupid but with you those things are what I feel." It was surreal it was whispered to me so the words wouldn't get eaten up by the big space of her living room.

"Can I say something to?"

"Yeah, you can tell me anything." I watched how she entwined our fingers, I decided to focus on our hands instead of looking at her face.

"I like this girl, woman. I like her a lot but she makes more money than I do, I mean like a lot a lot more." My heart started to beat faster when she didn't reply at first.

"Maybe she has no problem with the income gap." She made circles with her thumb on my hand. "Just let it go all your doubts."

"Yeah maybe you are right." I admitted.

"Can I admit one more thing?" She asked me with her shining eyes. "Yeah." I nodded.

"I knew it was love, the first time I met you." When she spoke, when she admitted this my first reaction was to laugh. I imagined this place as the first place where I could go to any given time, somebody would always be here. When I want to talk, someone who never will judge me. I have heard somewhere that when someone loves you, you can see it in their eyes. That's what I was doing now, reading her eyes. I hoped to see love, she practically told me those three words. I desperately need to see them, feel them, hear it.

"Can I kiss you?" My lips were on hers before she had the chance to reply. My lips were grazing oh so lightly against her, if she wants too she can pull back or she can intensify the kiss. I let her the full control. "Wow I enjoyed that." She blushed.

"Can I, again?" I asked more desperately than a minute ago. It's strange when our lips are locked I feel free, everything is spinning around. "What do you do to me Emily?" I whispered, resting our heads against each other.

On top of my list of the most beautiful things in the world Emily Fields smile. That smile absolutely killed me. Emily threw her arms around me so suddenly and so hard that I stumbled backwards and almost fell over. "Oh I love you." She gasped. "That took you long." I joked.

"Make fun of me how long you want but I know my heart. I'll prove it to you, for the rest of my life." Hearing her say that was a feeling I would never forget. She was playing with my hair, I had to keep back a moan it felt so good. "Emily, I would like to see Kenneth soon, I would like your help."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need it to move on. I'm just scared he will go crazy mad. The more I think about the more I kind of need the answers. I never cared, he could've been dead it would be all the same but now the us thing, I want to do something. If you want to help me?"

"Of course. Anything." My eyes fluttered close at the feeling of her lips on my head. "If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel about her now? Alison. Romantically I mean."

"I haven't felt anything about her for a long time." She shrugged. "To be honest all I want is her to leave me alone. I know it's harsh but she stopped being my problem as soon we broke up."

"I understand." I said. "I know what you mean, you just want to move on without your ex popping up constantly."

"Exactly." I sighed. We fell silent and I took another gulp of wine, then decided to ask what I wanted to say all evening. "Emily, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why did you really ask me here tonight?" Emily sat up a little bit, but keeping her legs over me. "Well" She started her cheeks reddening slightly as she lowered her eyes breaking eye contact. "I really like you Paige. And I wanted to get to know you better. I've really loved tonight."

"So have I." I said immediately. "Tonight's been great."

"And when I look at you," Emily sighed softly. "I just couldn't look away when I saw you for the first time, you have beautiful deep captivating eyes. I'm insanely attracted to you."

"Really?"

"Yes really." She giggled.

"Why?"

"What?" She started to laugh. "I don't know why, you just captivate me I guess."

"I mean, I just don't understand. I'm drama." I shrugged vaguely. I nervously tore my eyes from my glass to look back at her. She started to tell me all about her background, her fortunate upbringing, the ways she understand my poor upbringing. By the time we fell silent again it was past midnight. "I haven't enjoyed myself this much in a really long time."

"Neither have I."

"Can I kiss you now?" She whispered her cheeks turning red. My heart melted, I couldn't help smiling. My whole body was reacting to her, she put her other arm around me and I did the same, needing to hold her closer.

Minutes went by like this. "Thanks for a lovely evening." I whispered in her ear. As before she ran her fingers through my hair. "I hope we can do it again soon."

"We will." I nodded eagerly. "You kind of gave me job." I laughed.

"See you hopefully really soon than. " She took a step back to open the door. "Text me when you get home babe."

"I will." I grinned.

"Goodnight Paige."

"Goodnight Em."

I still couldn't believe Emily Fields being attracted to me. It wasn't that I didn't believe her, she looked so sincere when she had said it but I can't get my head around it. I found myself feeling desperate to see her again. Soon. I almost took my phone out to arrange next time. All the worrying all the pain seemed to have gone. Right now, it all didn't matter anymore. It had been fifteen minutes ago when we said goodbye but I can't wait to see her again.

I got inside and closed the door heading straight into the living room. I opened the door and stopped dead. Spencer was laying across the length of the couch, her top discarded on the floor. She turned her head with a gasp when she heard the door open, raising her arm to cover her chest revealing the equally flushed face of Toby.

I ran so fast up the stairs, bursting out laughing when I closed the door. Nothing was going to bring me down right now, not even something I shouldn't have seen. I changed for bed and quickly checked my phone. Like I hoped there was a goodnight and thank you text with winky faces waiting for me. I quickly let her know I was home and safe. Once again I read the message through several times, until my eyes started to close. Putting my phone down I sleepily laughed to myself.


	22. Chapter 22

_Goodmorning, I really had a great time last night. And not only because you fed me ;) I'll call you later babe xx_

I read the messages a couple more times, thankfully the sun was already up. I didn't think I could cope much longer. The winking faces, the kisses and she called me babe. Damn. Wow. Emily Fields was slowly killing me. I got up and took a shower time wasted before I made it in the bathroom and when in before I could get in the shower. I was hooked on my phone, I think I have checked my phone more today than I ever had. But no new texts. She send only that one, leaving me to cope with possible okay replies.

I decided to stick with something very simple, even that would be a challenge with all of these nerves I got going on. I waited as long as I could before replying back. I didn't want her to think I had nothing better to or spend the time waiting for her message. Even though I had.

She replied almost immediately. Did she wait for me to reply? Of course not, she has better things to do. I need to see her again.

 _I hope I can see you again soon._

As soon I hit send I felt scared and dumb for being so brave so suddenly.

 _Do you want to come over tomorrow again?_

I felt ridiculous when I realized the amount of time I needed to agree to see her again. 2 minutes. I agreed after two minutes, two minutes spent screaming of happiness while rolling on my bed. How did I suddenly turn into this giddy girl?

"How was your date?"

I grinned. "Your date was perfect I assume by the ending I walked in."

"Oh no, that was so not the ending. That took place across your room."

"Spencer! Just no! Well okay." I laughed.

"Why are you laughing? What went down?"

"Not a lot." I giggled nervously. "You're just lucky I was in a very good mood last night otherwise you would hear me complain about all the noise you made! Seriously, we just talked a lot, drank wine just getting to know each other."

"So what she's really like?"

"Amazing. I think she might be the most caring person that I ever met."

"Thanks a lot Paigey!" She playfully hit me on my arm.

"It's different, she listens differently. She really cares, it's nice. But I don't think I can get used to that ever."

"Awh you're so cute! Did you kiss?"

I giggled blushing. "Yeah we did."

"High five! Believe me, she seems really into you."

"I don't know." I murmured. "I don't know what everything means, I guess I just have to wing it."

I would never forget the day I arrived at the hospital nearly sixteen years ago, Kenneth had been sitting outside the hospital room when Ali and I arrived with our neighbor who he asked to pick up us from school. He had just seen her and immediately started sobbing, he held me for a very long time.

After a while I saw her parents getting closer, I looked up at them and smiled. Their smile told me they appreciated I was around but would understand if I couldn't stay. I thought back at the neighbor that was with me all these years ago. I don't know how I would have handled that time without her, Kenneth was too big of a mess, which I now understand.

We followed the doctor to this wing, nothing seemed to have really changed in this fifteen years. Byron opened the door and held it for me, entering the room I saw that Aria was still asleep.

"Why the long face?" Ella asked, Mike and I didn't say anything, I just looked at her like she was crazy. She's again asleep, you would think she has slept enough for the rest of the week don't you? "Here." Ella handed me a cup of coffee. "Let's not just sit here. We need to keep busy."

I found a newspaper from a week ago, they have brought in all the papers from the days she was in coma in case Aria wanted to catch up. I found a crossword puzzle and decided to give it a go, read some articles while sitting down with her family to kill some time.

"Everyone, look! I think she's waking up." Mike said suddenly breaking all tensioned silence. I instantly turned to watch Aria, the doctor and nurses had the pleasure to see her awake already together with her parents. It was hard to believe but now I was witnessing it myself. Still it felt as a miracle for them too, when she finally opened her eyes we yelled out in joy and rushed to hug her. "Be gentle." Ella warned.

She had been awake round midnight, everything was too crazy and unsure. I told Ella over and over again that it was okay she didn't call me right away. They had the pleasure to speak with her a little bit and told her about my visits and being back.

"Hi." She said, her voice rough and croaky. Hi. Simple but effective, it made me cry and if possible it became my favorite word on the planet.

They have filled her in before on everything. "I'm so sorry I had something to do with it." I said trying to be calm and gentle. I began to tear up again, I didn't know how ever to forgive myself if she won't. She glanced to her brother, her parents and back to me. I forcefully held on to her hand. When she looked up to me I grinned. "I'm so happy you're awake." I whispered. I bent down to place a kiss on her hand.

I didn't have the strength to go home as I had planned, I only got halfway out when I had to see her again and just watch her. And let her know I was still there.

"Paige." Her voice was quiet and weak, I walked back in and felt the tears build up. I ran to her side a pulled her into a hug, she was crying as well. "How are you?"

"You're back." She was gazing into my eyes as she had seen a ghost.

"Could you hear me whilst you were unconscious?"

"Paige" She whispered. "Finally." I held her as she sobbed hysterically.

"Let it all out Ar, I'm here. I'm staying this time." I felt her shiver while holding her. I pulled back to lay against her, combing through her hair as she laid her head on my shoulder occasionally planting a kiss on her face.


	23. Chapter 23

"Hello?"

"Hi Emily."

"I'm really glad you rang! So what are you up to?"

"Not a lot, just left the house. I'm on my way to the clinic." I didn't know why I felt I had to lie about the fact I was already there, I just entered Aria's room when my phone rang and I excused myself. I felt weird about talking to one of them with the other one close to me.

"I'm so happy for you, Aria is really doing good! Physiotherapy will kick in and then she might be ready to go home. " She couldn't see me but I was smiling bigtime.

"Will I see you later?" I nodded until I realized she couldn't see me. "Yes, I'll see you later."

"Okay, when do you arrive here? I'll take a break from my work just stop by my office."

"Ehm, I will take a bit longer than usual. I try a new route."

"You really want to see her don't you?"

"Emily, please." I smiled.

"Just step by, I have to tell you something."

I couldn't get this out of my head, was it good or bad? Does it have anything to do with Aria? As soon I walked in the room I felt sane again. I could breathe evenly and I was filled with pure joy as I realized I could say more now than just her name or pleading her to wake up. I felt frustrated by the awkward conversation we were having.

I admitted I wanted to steal, she told me she didn't care. "I was going to tell you it was okay, I wanted to help you out Paige." I felt a quiver run down my spine when she said my name. "You don't really care?" I asked, she nodded. Her cold hands came up to cradle my face, cupping my chin.

"I don't care about the danger, I only care about you." I grinned at her words. "I hope you feel good now." I nodded forlornly and I laughed again.

"I do, I'm in a way better place right now. But I should ask you, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. A bit dizzy, certain things don't make sense yet and my body isn't quit catching up yet but no need to worry."

"Is there a best friend maybe who's visits I always missed?" I carefully tried to find out where I stood. "No, that place is already taken." She squeezed my hand, it felt so good to share smiles with this girl again.

On my way out I almost walked into Emily. "Hey I was just on my way to you."

I followed her in her office. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay." I bit nervously my lip. She was twisting the bottom of her top around her fingers. She was looking straight at me but I sensed she was nervous for some reason.

"I wanted to see you again but there's another reason why I called you. I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I'm not even sure if I should. I talked it over with my parents and they made me realize what it is."

"What Emily?" I said desperately. "You're scaring me."

Emily raised her hand. "I'm scared to say it."

"I don't understand. Are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah it's not like that. I just don't want to freak you out." Emily sighed. She placed her hands on my waist pulling me against her. "Please don't freak out." She whispered in my ear.

"I won't. You are scaring me now. What's going on?" Emily's hands tightened their grip on my waist, her eyes staring right into mine. "Paige, I think I'm in love with you."

She didn't mean it. She couldn't have meant it. She wasn't talking to me, she was talking to someone else called Paige. I was dreaming. Anything but reality. This couldn't have really just happened. Time stood still, we both made no movement. The only sound being her breathing, moments passed suddenly her hands left me and she stepped back but kept her eyes on me.

"You can't be. " I said as soon I found my voice.

"What?!"

I shook my head. There's no way. Emily looked confused and upset, this was definitely not a dream scenario. "Why can't I be?"

"You don't even know me."

"I do." She said softly. "I do know you."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I." Emily said with tears in her eyes. "Don't you believe me?"

"No." I said immediately, I saw Emily flinch. "Now I heard it like this – I – I think I should go."

"Please don't. Don't go Paige."

"I need to go." Emily followed me out.

"You said you wouldn't freak out."

I didn't answer. Of all the things that she could've told me, that one didn't cross my mind.

"Don't go like this babe." I wanted to turn around and hold her, anything to stop her from looking so sad. Anthing but I couldn't right now. Emily took a step forward only to change her mind a second later and created more space between the two of us. "I mean it Paige, I really do."

"I need to think. I just I - I need to think." I stammered.

"You can think here, I don't want you to go like that." I stopped a moment but I didn't turn around. "Will you text me please when you're home?" I heard the pleading in her voice, I closed the door and got out. I composed myself in the elevator and made my way in record time out that place. For a second hovering in front of Aria's room, I decided against it and ran home.

Halfway far I was exhausted, I waited for Spencer to pick me up she was confused but didn't ask to much questions over the phone. I got in the car and was greeted with the questions I feared. "What the hell are you doing standing here on your own? Did something happen with Emily? That's where you were right? Or was it Aria? Is she going backwards?"

"Can we just go home?" I heard Spencer sigh but thankfully she continued the ride in silence. When she pulled in front the house she locked all doors, I was trapped. Inside I could ran inside and lock myself up in my room, she didn't want to risk that I guess. Why do I have to live with a smart one?

"You're not getting out of this car until I know what's going on. So tell me why did you drag me out of bed?" I suddenly wanted to cry more than anything. But why exactly? "I've got a problem Spence." I left Emily alone and upset, not because we fought or something like that no because she told me she loved me. I groaned. I told her all about my day, when I told her about Emily declaring her love she went nuts.

"She's in love with you?"

"That's what she said." I shrugged.

"And you don't believe her?" I struggled to answer on this one.

"She actually told you she loves you? Wow bloody hell! You must have left quite an impression! You haven't known each other that long!"

"What do I do Spencer?" I really hoped my smart friend could help me out here.

"Well what did you say?"

"I can't remember. " I lied. "I rang you not long after." Spencer looked even more shocked now. "You just left?"

"What was I supposed to do?! She could've been joking!" I said loudly.

"She wouldn't joke about that! Don't you think you overreacted?"

"Thank you for picking me up." I said, Spencer unlocked the doors. "I'll talk to you tomorrow I just need to think."

"I think you need to talk to Emily as well." She said before getting out of the car behind me.

An hour passed and I was lying awake in bed. I had one missed call from Emily and a message, asking if I got home okay. I wanted to call her and tell her I was sorry. But what else was I supposed to say? Saying I was confused was an understatement. All I could hear over and over again in my head was the sound of her voice filled with sobs when I left. I had done that. I made someone cry. I hurt someone who was nothing but amazing to me all this time.

 _I'm home. I'm sorry Emily._

I tossed around until I heard my phone beep.

 _Good. Call me when you're ready to talk._

I put my phone down and curled up crying. Even now she was still caring about me, I had to take my time and when I'm ready she would be there ready for me too. What the hell have you done Paige?

It was way too early when I woke up, I set off for a walk. Over an hour later I was there. I walked in and got into the elevator. I knocked on the door for a while. I tried ringing her phone but she didn't answer. I could have sworn I heard it ringing.

 _I'm outside._

I sent the text and waited for about three seconds, the door opened behind me. Emily was stood in the same clothes she had on yesterday. Her face free of make-up.

"I need to talk to you." I croaked. "Can I come in please?"

"Of course come in."

"I need to talk to you." I repeated. "About last night." I walked further in, pulling her with me. "I've been thinking about you all night. I haven't stopped, not even for one second." I said honestly.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you either."

"I don't even know where to start." I sighed. "I'm sorry for leaving like that that was horrible of me to do so. I'm really sorry about that, I should've stayed a bit longer and try to explain myself."

"You're here now." Emily smiled. She had covered my hands with hers.

"Last night when you-"

"When I said I love you, I meant it. I'm sorry if it didn't come out right. I'm definitely sober now and I still mean it."

"I freaked out." I whispered. "This is going to sound bad but I feel like I've known you for years and I fancied you for years which is not really – damned – I'm so bad at this. I just feel confused." I decided to shut up and leave it at that before I make things worse. "I do have feelings for you." I decided to add. I finally looked at her and she smiled instantly.

"That doesn't really explain why you freaked out so badly." Emily sighed. "It was like you tried to convince me I didn't mean it."

"The only person who ever told me they loved me and really did so was my mother." I said and Emily's face fell. "I'm scared of getting hurt by strangers I don't want to think what happens when I let someone come really close to me again and get screwed over by them." I said truthfully.

"I'm scared too believe me. Of how I feel and to get hurt again." Her voice faltered but still holding onto my hand. "But I trust you with all I have. And I want you to know I'd never intentionally hurt you."

"But you've only just met me a little over a month ago."

"That's not how it feels like." Emily smiled. "I knew there was something special about you. I've fallen in love with you, and I don't care you're not there. We can figure this out as we go."

"I'm sorry about last night. I know what it must've took for you to tell me." Emily gently wiped my tears as I tried to breathe normally. "I don't know what to say now." I laughed.

"Just a simple yes or no would do it for now." She was smiling but I knew she was serious and nervous.

"You deserve better than me."

"Don't dare to ever say that." She said firmly. "The fact remains, it's you I want. So?"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Emily's eyes lit up. She had never looked more beautiful.

"Of course I want to be with you."


	24. Chapter 24

We had been kissing and cuddling for some time just enjoying each other's company after the previous evenings disaster.

"So last night, you said you had spoken to your parents about me?"

"Yeah I did." Emily blushed. "That really helped me."

"You said parents, your dad too?"

She nodded. "Yeah I'm sorry if that makes you upset but if he's eased into it he can help you with Kenneth. He's alright with us as long as we both are happy so is my mother."

"Really?" I still couldn't believe what was going on. "I'm really sorry, if it was the other way round I would be completely devastated. I didn't mean to be such a bitch."

"I understand now. Don't worry about it anymore." She smiled.

"It's a shame I can't meet your parents. They must be really proud of you, you're such a strong person Paige."

"Stop it or you're going to make me cry again." I laughed.

"Have you thought about the Kenneth-Ali thing?"

"I still don't know what to do. But I think I want the answers now."

"The answers might be not really what you want to hear."

"Can we talk about something else?" I sighed.

"Of course. I'm sorry."

Once again we lost track of time, my eyes started to get heavy. I checked my phone, it was after one in the morning. Emily stepped in front of me as I turned to leave. "Stay."

"Emily."

She planted kisses along my face. "Please stay?"

"If you insist." I sighed dramatically.

"I'll get something for you to sleep in. I'll be right back."

I got my phone out deciding to text Spencer. Can't believe we just spend the entire day on her couch doing not really a thing.

 _Staying at Emily's. Talk to you tomorrow._

"I thought we could go in my room and watch a movie, what do you think?" My heart started beating hundred miles a minute. "Sounds good."

"I left some clothes in the bathroom." I approached her and she raised her eyes, she showed me a huge smile. Can she possibly get any cuter? "Thank you." I whispered, closing my eyes and leant in to kiss her.

"What film are we watching?" Emily's pick was Paranormal Activity, I cursed under my breath. I hovered awkwardly in front of the bed taking my time with setting the movie up. "You better get here so I can protect you." Emily teased, throwing the covers back for me.

I took a look at the DVD cover : based on a true story. "This can happen to us while we're watching the bloody thing." I said. Emily couldn't stop laughing, I pressed play and folded my arms like a child.

It wasn't long before I had my arms wrapped so tight around Emily, my face buried under her arm. Just then a woman started to scream and was dragged out of bed by her legs, I screamed a long and hid my face again while she laughed. At first I had been afraid at the thought of sharing her bed but she hadn't made any advances and I appreciate that. I didn't think that had been hey intention to start with. "Is it gone?"

"Yeah it is gone now."

"Jeezus! Feel my heart!" I grabbed her hand and pressed it right against the curve of my breast. She looked up and I realized how close we were. I felt my face heat up. I released the pressure of her hand on my chest and laced our fingers together, shuffling closer to her.

When the film finished the room turned full dark. "Can we cuddle for a bit?" I didn't answer instead I got excited as a little kid and sighed content as I cuddled into her. "Thank you for staying."

"Thank you for having me." Emily stared at me for a long time, she brushed some hair off my face and she smiled, I would never get tired of that beautiful smile. I closed my eyes a second before she kissed me. My eyes were adjusted to the darkness and I couldn't take my eyes off her. I couldn't resist kissing her lips before laying back down and whisper how beautiful I think she is. I was half asleep when I felt her lips on mine followed by her sweet voice. "You're beautiful too."

"Paige … Paige."

I opened my eyes to be greeted with Emily's dazzling smile. "Hi." I said, feeling myself get ashamed by my morning look. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah great." I grinned.

"I was hoping we could spend all day together but something came up. But we can have some breakfast if you want?" I nodded and Emily skipped out of the room. I rushed through the bathroom, I went through my hair with a comb and dabbed some lip balm on. The first thing she said when she walked back in the room was if I did something to my face. I instantly blushed. "No."

"You're too cute babe." She laughed. "You look beautiful in the morning." She kissed me on my cheek before handing me a cup of coffee.

I started flicking through radio stations, glancing at Emily for approval every time I stopped on a song. Waiting for a good one, she told me fifteen minutes ago I would know when I'm on a right one. Rolling my eyes playfully I kept going. Emily started to bounce in her seat at Soulja Boy's Crank That. "I used to love this!" She said. I turned the volume up, waves of laughter hitting me.

"Emily stop."

"What?"

"Stop the car, quick, stop. Stop!"

Emily swerved to the left pulling over. "Look." I pointed at the other side of the road to a man walking to opposite way. "He hasn't changed at all actually." I said more to myself. Kenneth was walking there with a bag in his hand. We sat in silence watching him.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't have a clue."

"He's right there you can go after him." I still hesitated. I opened the door, stopped, and closed the door. "I can't."

"Are you sure?" Emily was still watching him.

"If I change my mind, I know where to find him." I said, I turned the radio of when we drove away.

"I'm sorry for my sudden mood change. I'm just stupid."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am. And partly his fault. I should've said something to him."

"Like you said, you can anytime you want. I've got his address."

"I need to talk to him. Right? He's going to keep popping up until I say something. Alison knows where I stay, I never expected her to stay silent this long.

"I'll come with you if you want. We can drive there right now and wait for him to come home."

"Not now, I'll think about it." I told her smiling.

"See you soon." Emily smiled leaning across the car to kiss me.

"See you soon Em."

"See you soon, love you!" She gasped slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"Don't apologize! It's not like you're being mean." I tried to laugh it off but it hurt. I was too scared to say it back, I made her feel guilty for expressing her love at loud. Luckily she smiled and kissed me again.

"Look who's back! So what's new?" I tried to shake the bad feeling of and all Kenneth thoughts and just smiled. "Everything's great actually. Emily and I talked things over and we're together."

During the day I decided to ask Emily for the DiLaurentis address, when I realized they still live in the same house where I once lived too I asked for her permission to meet up with him at her place. So here I am. In an instant I actually felt sick for just looking at him. "Hi Paige." He smiled politely. I felt my jaw open up a little as well.

I couldn't smile back. I even couldn't say "Hi" back. I was looking at the man who made me feel part of a family, he loved my mother and wanted me too. Until death tore our family apart. I hated him for sending me away to the awful aunt. I hated him for raising an awful daughter and to get rid of me. I used to believe that love between family member is like the wind, you can't see it but will always feel it. Perhaps this isn't true, perhaps I was never part of a family.

"I'm glad to see you're doing good. You look great." He was fidgeting with his hands, standing clumsy on his feet. I remained lifeless. Just staring at him. His eyes constantly flicked over to Emily.

"The police filled me in on the biggest part of what happened. Honestly your aunt played me as well, I didn't know."

Emily came standing next to me giving me her hand to hold. In the corner of my eye I saw Emily signaling him to continue. "After a year I got a letter from her, telling me how proud she is of you and how good you were doing in school and that you didn't want to see me anymore. I was keeping you in a painful past, I had to respect that even if it was devastating for me. I called the house a couple of times but she never wanted to put me trough. I kept sending birthday cards. But I realized it might be the best if I disappeared."

That look of utter shock came over me, anger once again taking over. "So you did continue to remember the other child?" He didn't say a word. He carefully and shaky stepped closer to us, sticking out a piece of paper which Emily accepted. "Look at this Paige. It might help." I took the letter from her with my free hand, not letting go of her hand.

I wanted to yell at him if he really didn't have anything more than what he just said but this letter he brought. The letter he just told me about. It was a handwriting I recognized as my aunt's. "I never wrote this, the aunt did." I said, I stood there a moment before with the slightest clue of what this all meant, now we're both crying with realization.

"I never wanted to give up on you Paige. You have to believe me. I also have never found love again, your mother is still the one for me. She will always be, I despise myself for letting things come this far I broke my promise to her to take care for you. It is my fault you had to leave, but I did it with all the right intentions. I thought we could trust her. She's the only blood related family of yours that remained, I thought she would give you everything, love you dearly. I'm so sorry to hear that it was a nightmare."

My throat was thick with tears. He never wanted to get rid of me.

"You've grown so much." He whispered.

"That's what happens when the last time you saw a person was when they were six years old."

"Do you know the truth about that fire? I never did it. Everything that went wrong, went wrong because of your daughter. You always called it teasing, it was worse than that she bullied me nonstop. She wanted me gone." I saw him lowering his head at the mention of his daughter. "When she cheated on Emily, Emily and I walked in on that. She was being mean to the both of us and all her sides and lots of ugly truths came out. Let's leave it at that."

Surprised with this new piece of information I looked at Emily. She was never that surprised when I told her it was her who was kissing with Audrey. I didn't know how to react to that, at the squeeze Emily gave me I understood she understood this moment, no words were needed. It was okay.

"I honestly don't know what to say to you now." I said.

"I understand Paige. The only thing I want is for us to be no strangers and also you can come talk to me whenever you like. I'll answer any question you might have. You're always welcome at my house or if you rather meet up here or at your place it's all good. I'm just so happy to see you in the flesh. You can't understand how much that means to me."

Weirdly enough I felt really emotional in a 'I missed you way'. He carried warmth and familiarity with him. The letter, the prove. He wanted me. He never wanted to be the estranged stepdad. He knows Ali's dark side, things could be different now.

"I think I better go now and give you some time. Congratulations on your relationship by the way, you two look great together." He awkwardly gave me a hug which I briefly returned, as Emily showed him out I curled up in her couch.

"Plenty has happened, I grew up but seeing him made me realize how much I missed a parental figure. I don't know if we could ever have that relationship again, I'm just so confused. That stupid letter and Ali, is that really what ruined my life? No other reasons?" I knew where her bottles of wine were kept, I took one out and filled two glasses. I downed my glass very quickly filling it one more time.

"I'm sorry Ali did that to you." Emily let out a heavy sigh. "It's been 10 months ago, it's all good now. I moved on."

"You don't know how amazing you are." I said, I cupped her chin and raised her head. "Kiss me."

We fell back onto the couch in our most passionate kiss yet, I had my arms around her so tight and she was holding me the same way. I wanted more of her. Emily stroked her hand across my stomach, we continued kissing heatedly. Her hands moved across my bra, cupping one of my breasts in her palm and ran her other hand through my hair. We didn't stop kissing once. Feeling brave, I ran my hand under her top across her back. Her moans were spurring me on, I lowered my hands, sliding them into her pants. Seconds later she pulled away gasping. "Stop."

"I'm sorry." I said instantly, removing my hands from her body.

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. I just don't want it to happen like this, we both have wine in our system and are living on heavy emotions. When we do it, it has to be about you and me. I do want to Paige, I feel it too but not now."

I slowly nodded. "You're right. I feel the same." We both grinned at each other because of our understanding. "I've never done this before you know." I looked at my feet while I confessed this. Until now Spencer was the only one that knew.

"So Audrey?" I shook my head no.

I gave her a soft kiss and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry I freaked out babe."

I laughed. "Don't be silly, I'm the queen of freaking out."

"I just don't want to feel tipsy when we you know for the first time." I gave her a kiss on her temple, telling her she didn't need to explain. She looked up adoringly at me. "I love you." She placed her fingers on my lips. "It's okay if you don't. I just have to say it, you're amazing Paige and I love you."

Not letting me answer she kissed me again. "Can you stay tonight?" She murmured against my lips.

"Why not." I sat up and kissed her nose and cuddled back into her side.

It was still slightly dark when I woke up, rather than go back to sleep I sat on my elbow and watched Emily sleeping. I don't think I had ever felt more at peace with the world. Eventually Emily started to stir.

"Hey." She smiled sleepily.

"Good morning."

"Have you been watching me?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Do I get a good morning kiss?" I pouted and she happily obliged.


	25. Chapter 25

She's just taking it out on you because you're here, because you still will be, she's fed up with everything. She's forced to stay in a small room for a long period of time, where's nothing to enjoy. When allowed out it's to push your body to the limit with people pushing you constantly in physiotherapy. I try to tell myself, she didn't mean to snap at me and hurt me.

I was six years old, she knows I couldn't make the decision to leave than now I could but I don't. I try to keep my eyes closed in the chair next to her bed, I feel her eyes on me but I don't want her to see mine now. This place is the great reminder that things don't go as planned or that people aren't broken or weak but are meant to survive. I have seen some of her artistic drawings the past days, some early memories from early school days and when we would play in the park worked into them.

It made me cry, it made me realize that in every life how shitty you think it is there are good things to be found. "You sure do a lot of thinking in this place." I said jokingly finally opening my eyes again.

"Yes that's the only thing good about this place, getting to appreciate things." I carefully climbed beside Aria on the bed sensing she wanted to tell me something. "I can't believe my first friend ever is here." I started to play with my friendship bracelet and so did she, we started laughing as I thought about how old habits die hard.

"Ar, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah what's up?"

"I was just wondering, your parents and your brother, they must have told you things about me right?"

Aria sat up a little. "What do you mean? The accident that you blame yourself for being a little bit involved?"

I nodded, Aria still looking a bit confused. "You are not, you know that now don't you?"

"Have they maybe told you, that I'm gay?" I wasn't really up for arguing again about that one particular messed up day. Instead I wanted to get something else out of the way, something maybe the oldest friendships can't survive.

"Well no." She said.

"Are you okay with that?"

"I'm not going to lie I'm happy I already lay down." She laughed. "But of course I'm fine with that. Why wouldn't I be? You're my P." I started to smile. "Thank you. That's about it."

"So are you seeing someone?"

"Yeah." I grinned.

"Oh." My heart sank and a shiver went through me. Oh. What does she mean Oh?

After ordering a pizza Emily quickly started to fall asleep again, she had her legs up across me so I started to rub her feet. "Oh god that feels absolutely amazing."

"Don't fall asleep."

"I won't. Just don't stop doing that." She sighed. " Paige, I need to ask something."

I stopped my movements to look at her. "Sounds serious?"

"Not exactly it's just I was thinking well hoping you were free on Sunday to come over and meet my parents. What do you think?"

"You really want me to meet them?"

"I would love you to but it isn't a problem if you aren't up for it. It's just an idea."

"Count me in." As I saw her smile and saw her eyes shine I knew I had given the right answer.

"You're very special to me." I said as the explanation of willingly and happily meeting her parents.

"You are to me too." She smiled timidly.

Butterflies took off inside me when she put her arms around me. My heart nearly gave out when she kissed me. When I broke the kiss off she kept her eyes closed. "I missed you."

I grinned. Although we were only separated for 8 hours, I completely understood now I found the courage to do what I wanted to today. The way she was interacting with me and let her guard down made me feel something. I focused on holding her hands for a second while I was building up the courage to look at her. "There was something I want to tell you. It has been on my mind constantly but it had to feel right. I think I'm scared to realize how bad you touched my heart Em." I chuckled, I took a deep long breath and finally raised my head to look her into her eyes. "I wanted to come here tonight to tell you I've fallen in love with you."

If it wasn't such a serious moment I would've start laughing at the way her eyes almost seemed to pop out. "I love you. I'm in love with you, I was scared maybe still am but good scared. It just doesn't matter that much, not as much as I love you."

Emily grabbed my face in her hands and kissed me for several minutes. "I loved you all along, I knew I did I was just scared."

"It doesn't matter now, you don't have to explain." She shut me up with another kiss. We continued kissing breathlessly only giving each other two seconds to breathe and stare in each other's eyes. I pulled her against me as tight as I could. "Emily I love you."

She giggled softly, her arms locked around my neck. "I love you too."

The look on her face when I said that. I just knew how much it meant to her, suddenly it seemed easier to be with her, to talk to her. I was less scared of being myself or paying attention so I wouldn't say the wrong thing. I didn't want anything to hold us back.

Emily lay down on me curling up against me. Once again my mind drifted off to Ali. I couldn't understand how she could've hurt her. I vowed myself right there and then to become the best version of me that I possibly can be. I slowly stood up and carried her to her bed. Knowing where everything lay now I changed into the clothes I wore once before, she wasn't maybe in the most comfortable of clothes to sleep in but I didn't want to wake her up.

I walked out of the bathroom back in the bedroom when I heard a low moaning noise, wondering if she was having a bad dream. She groaned again and I thought about waking her up until she started talking. "Hmmmm Paige." What the hell? I slowly made my way over my side of the bed. "Aaahh yeah that's it." I didn't know what to do, should I leave, try to sleep or wake her up or just let her carry on? I saw Emily stretching her body out, one arm going to my waist and she moaned again. After minute her face relaxed and she slept on. It took me a bit longer to fall asleep than usual. I kept watching her, my ears playing tricks on me, tricking me into hearing her moan my name again. I wasn't sure how to react but I felt a bit amused.

I opened my eyes and rolled onto my back, Emily placed her hand on either side of me. "Morning beautiful."

"You slept well?" I asked smiling, knowing I could tease her with what I know.

"Yeah I did. I had a dream about you."

"Oh I know you did." I grinned. Unable to resist.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Paige! What?"

"You were just moaning my name that's all."

Emily's hand flew to her mouth her eyes wide. "You're joking!'

"You sounded like you were enjoying yourself." I snorted with laughter as Emily fell down beside me, burying her face in the pillow.

"I was dreaming we were dancing together. Was that how it sounded?"

For some reason I couldn't stop laughing unable to reply. Emily sat up in bed with her arms folded.

"I'm sorry. Come here." I said. Emily smiled into the kiss wrapping her arms around me as I pulled her closer. Things quickly became heated, Emily climbed on top of me. I froze when she slid her hand under my pajama top.

"Emily-."

"I want you." She gasped. "I want you so much. I've wanted you since the second you said you loved me. Do you love me?"

"Yes I do." I replied without hesitation.

"Do you want me?" Words failed me. I simply nodded. Emily sat up. "I was thinking of getting a shower." She extended her hand. "Come with me?"

I took her hand, we barely took our eyes off each other as we made our way into the bathroom. I swallowed hard, she faced me and slowly pulling her top over her head. "Do you want to? Are you sure?"

"Yes I do." I told her honestly. Emily smiled and stepped closer to me, she gently kissed me and gripped the bottom of my top. We were just looking at each other surrounded by steam. I was so in awe of how beautiful she was, I couldn't stop staring at all of her. The strangest thing was, she was looking at me in the exact same way. I briefly closed my eyes, needing to hold this image in my memory forever. As soon my eyes closed, her lips landed on mine. "You're so beautiful Paige. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise again."

Back in the bedroom just wrapped in a towel we lay side by side on the bed still looking at each other. I placed a small kiss on her forehead, the tip of her nose and her lips. "Lie down."

Emily grinned folding her arms under her head. I knelt beside her, holding my breath I pulled the towel down a little. Kissing her stomach. Emily started to sigh. "I can't wait anymore." She suddenly grabbed my hands and pulled me on top of her. "Are you still-?"

"Yes definitely." I quickly replied. Licking my lips I pulled the towel completely of me and leaned over her. "You're so beautiful." I breathed, placing one soft kiss on her lips before slowly kissing her neck.

"I know you're as scared as I am." She whispered.

"Am I that obvious?"

Emily shook her head. "I can feel your heart beating."

"Good scared." I said.

I forgot about feeling nervous, I was very aware that she was my first but as she wrapped her arm around my neck and pressed her lips to mine I knew I had to stop letting the past hold me back.

"Close your eyes." I whispered in her ear, placing a kiss there as I started to work my way down. "I've got no intention of stopping." I stated.


	26. Chapter 26

My life is better but I'm still scared. I like being back in Rosewood, I have friends and love. Weekly coffee times with Kenneth. Not much conversation going on but hey we're spending time together. My life is here, running is done. I think about how my life has changed since I ran back here, not about the horrible things that happened before that point and on that day.

Aria got released from the hospital, that might have something to do with it too. I keep on paying Spencer back every month, I kind of am Miss Fields assistant. Well cooking, bringing coffee, taking phone calls, stuff like that.

I don't hate Kenneth DiLaurentis but he's still far from being someone I trust. His daughter might have something to do with that. She's friendly, that's the scary part. Everywhere she goes an unsettling vibe surrounds her, when she's angry you know what's up. I prefer the angry side.

Everything is hard. Most of my life I've never been able to express myself to anyone without feeling desperate and the need to fight for attention. Now I'm still learning how to deal with my feelings. I don't mean to be distant with people, I'm just still scared that it won't last.

The image of Alison leaving Emily's apartment in the middle of the night is still clear on my brain. Remembering how my heart sank, how my blood ran cold.

"Why are you spying on me? You have no right to do that." I was dumbstruck. I was spying on her? She was sneaking out of my girlfriends place in the middle of the night. That was only the start, I didn't want to live in fear anymore, wondering when and where I would run in to her next. I looked out of Spencer's house and closed the curtains. Still shuddering. Wishing I could get rid of her for good.

Only yesterday was my last breakdown. I stayed a little bit longer at the clinic as normal, when I pulled into Spencer's driveway I saw the word 'slut' painted on the front door. It didn't matter what Spencer said, I knew this wasn't accidental or meant for her. I knew the writing, apart from that I would've known anyway.

In my mind stuff like that was the last thing I needed to deal with, I filled a bucket with water and soap grabbed a sponged and started cleaning her mess up. Again.

"How are you liking the options Hanna picked out for you?" Spencer was asking Caleb.

"I have liked everything so far really. As long she shows up and says I do I'm good with everything."

"How could she not?" Spencer laughed.

I thought I was being quiet, I guess not. The conversation about their upcoming wedding fell silent, eyes were on the bucket I was holding. They didn't say a word, just looked and sighed. The room turned cold. Another warm home she turns into coldness. Weeks passed, I felt settled more than ever, moved on far from the past. I started to turn my back on it, when you least expect it they hit you. Ali is pulling me back. Why?

Hate. That girl is driven by hate. What else can it be? Jealously? I don't think so. She has so much more than me, even now she ruined some best parts of her life. She's the girl that makes heads turn not me, she screams power not me.

I'm not afraid. I'm only afraid of what I know. The girl is unpredictable.

She's been pulling stunts, we all know. We just don't talk about it. Caleb, Hanna, Spencer, Emily and I. We talk with our eyes, when we talk about it we acknowledge what's going on. She's not worth a worry.

Yet I am slightly worried. I don't want to go back to the gutter.

I took a seat and we flooded quickly into conversation, Spencer was telling it all about her latest client and his mishaps. The conversation was ended abruptly as I got a call through.

"Hello? Yeah Aria?"

"What's wrong?"

"What? A burglary?"

"We'll be right there."

Not a minute later I was pulled into the car by Caleb, she sounded full of panic and unbelieve. She went back to live in her parents' house for a while, she had a quick look around and told me her room was the only room broken into. We parked in front of the Montgomery's, we rushed to the front door, sprinted to where Aria was.

It were her parents at the door, there facial expressions telling me they don't know. "Are you sure?" It was Caleb who asked, I stood still in the door opening of her room. Taking the space in.

"I'm sure."

I frowned. What would anyone find here? Desperately want here? I shook my head to clear it.

"Paige? Are you okay?"

I turned to answer her, but I was struck by her beauty. Her normally pale face had tanned over the weeks. She looked happy. I had never seen her this beautiful.

"Ehm yeah. What's missing again?" I asked.

"The weirdest things. Some clothes that were on my desk, my pillow and my teddy bear." She blushed.

I once again zoned out during the following rant by Caleb. Cold shivers went over my body with disgust, alarming me for danger. Unpredictable danger, that's what my great stepsister is.

 _"Paige? Paige!" I ignored the shouting while I ran up the stairs, I slammed the door of my bedroom which was followed by an even louder shout from downstairs. I didn't want to cry in front of them, I had to run out, my mom once taught me it was okay to cry in front of others, you can be vulnerable. Since she passed I was taught crying in front of other meant showing them how weak you are. How more weeks passed, how less I cried. I got angry a lot, still sad but crying was a complete no. I felt the anger rise inside of me, I felt trapped. Today I was cornered by some girls at school, once home I was still the person everyone saw me as in school. A bastard. I was the bastard child._

 _The DiLaurentis house was the evil orphanage. That's how I became to see it. Once safely in my room, I was the crazy child who yells at her teddy bear after being picked on the entire day. I used to try on so many layers before bed time. Wanting to test how many layers you can wear until it shows you're wearing a lot of clothes. It was in a dream it came to me that many layers could be the same thing as heaving a thick skin. I was young and stupid. Those thoughts only proved others right. It was nonsense. I had no time to wonder about things children my age can ask their parents about to gain information about things children stumble on in their creative minds._

 _I am Paige McCullers. I am different. My mother taught me, different can be good. Now I came to learn different sure as hell doesn't mean pretty. I don't want to be different I want to be loved._

 _And clothes to me were once also pillows. My pillow was stolen not every single night but often. I knew better than search of ask for it so I took sweaters out of my closet. Many thoughts later I came to see a pillow as luxury, maybe that's what the hidden message was. Everything I had was luxury, one step at a time things were taken away, I had to learn to live without it._

 _Because I had to soon for many years on. I didn't know that I was going to be forced to move out and go to another horrible orphanage. But someone did._

"You have to come stay with me. You can't stay here Aria. I'm not sure where you fit in in all of this, but someone knows. I can't let someone hurt you, not again. I won't let that happen."

I felt weak in the knees, I decided to wait for them in the car. What's happening?


	27. Chapter 28

**I know there's a chapter missing, that one was a note but I deleted it. Because that note had reviews and otherwise it wouldn't match up. :)  
I wasn't able to write something longer or more adventureous.**

 **I'm sorry. I hope I don't let you down.**

"Is she a sleep?" I poured myself a glass of wine and gulped it down. "Yeah finally. I hope it's for a while though. She's very confused." I'm too, it's hard to wrap my head around it. Her window was open when she entered her bedroom and three weird stuff were missing. A teddy bear, clothes and her pillow. How more I thought about my memories involving these three objects how more sure I am Alison must be the master brain. The only thing I come up with is that she might want to show me that I'm the girl she thinks I am, the girl she thought she knew.

When she came round that one night when Emily was here I shut the door in her face. What would things be like if I didn't? You can never know what she's thinking. Good intentioned or not, it will be clear in a matter of time. She did seem to pop up everywhere I go lately, also because I talk to Kenneth on a regular basis and Emily.

Emily. "The person you tried to call is not available at the moment. Leave a message after the beep." Great. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, it's late after all she might be sleeping already.

"Is Caleb gone already?" I noticed only now the silence in the house, Spencer was busying herself with some files and my mind was full of worry. No silence in my head. Non-stop.

"Hanna called, something with their wedding venue or so."

"Spencer, am I going crazy for no reason here?"

She simply shrugged her shoulders. Spencer Hastings was lost for words and couldn't make this situation seem irrelevant or better. "Paige, I don't know what's going on. If this even might mean something."

"I just don't want to feel like that again. I know I came back, I should've known." I changed as silently as I can into sleepwear and let myself fall on the mattress I've put on the floor earlier next to my bed. I'm listening to Aria's steady breathing. Can't she stand I've got a friend of my own? And Spencer, vandalizing her door from time to time.

What would be the worst move on my side? To stay put or to run? If I ran, will it all go back to as if I've never came back at all? What does she want from me? Well I know what. But I will never give her my life. I start from scratch, she's put on a peddle stone. Isn't that enough?

It will be both be hard on me that's for sure. The nightly visit to Em's, or at least the one I know of haunts me in my thoughts. It had been plaguing my mind every single day since then. I had seen her less which was driving me crazy. I'd make her life hell if she would hurt Emily. Without no allies I probably won't get away with it. And if what, I try to do something about it. People will just believe her and al her made up lies about me. That would be a stamp I wouldn't be able to get rid of.

She's a puppet master. Maybe, she genuinely cares about Em. Em did fall in love with her, who says she won't fall twice? And the worst thing about their previous relationship and whatever they might have now is I can't be mad at her for loving someone.

What am I thinking? No she isn't cheating on me. She wouldn't.

Something's not right. I kept telling myself. Either she isn't telling me something because it would make me unhappy or she's buying time to make up answers to the coming questions on my behalf.

My childhood friend, my grown up friend is back in my life. If that isn't surreal enough. I shouldn't be worrying about a stepsister. Former one.

"Hey Paige?"

"Hey, I thought you were asleep."

"I was, I woke up a few minutes ago. I was just thinking, shouldn't I report the missing items? It's to bizarre it might not be a random thing."

"If that would put your mind at ease sure. But don't dwell on it. It can be explainable."

"Yeah maybe." After a few minutes of silence Aria's warm voice broke the silence again. "Paige, if you want you can sleep here. There's enough room for the two of us."

After a brief moment of silence and consideration I got up and joined her. "Is it okay like this?" I tried to pay attention to not be touching in any way.

My heart skipped a beat at the laughter beside me. "You're a little weirdo Paigey! You're lying in the weirdest sleeping position ever! Just come here." She snaked a hand round my waist and let her head rest on my shoulder. I became less conscious when I heard her let out a content sigh.

"Try to catch some z's Ar."

"Goodnight Paige."

"Goodnight Ar."


	28. Chapter 29

**_Flash forward_**

Some people bring out the worst in you others the best. But then you have the ones who can make you feel so alive. It's easier being torn then black or white in life. All kind of thoughts run through my mind while not losing my patients while helping folding these napkins in weird shapes. I've retreated myself with hundreds of them at the upper balcony of this beautiful castle. I had a great view from here over the garden where the ceremony will be held, a view on the other side of the gates.

Everyone was busy setting up everything for Hanna Marin and Caleb Rivers big day. What am I exactly doing here and helping out? Well my dad thought it would do me some good, and I will get to see Paige soon.

I would anyway since we're both invited. But helping out means being here early, I have to keep my eyes open so I spot her when she arrives. So I can sneak away, take her hand and run to somewhere quiet.

"Emily, do you know maybe where Alison is? Kenneth just called me, he hasn't heard from her in days."

"No dad I'm not sure either. She did mention staying in Ravenswood for a couple of days. But that was last week so." Not my problem. I thought. I closed my eyes when the sunshine fell on my face.

"Hey Emmy, what's going with you and Paige?"

"I don't know dad. I"

"Do you know anything?" He chuckled.

"Dad not funny. I just meant I don't know, I don't think something has changed between us but it feels a bit awkward. I don't know." He moved to stand behind me, his hands on my shoulder. Staring somewhere into space, I followed his stare.

"I thought I missed something. But maybe you're missing something. I know about Ali being up your back lately. But don't let it destroy what's really great Emmy." He placed a kiss on my head and left.

I wasn't realizing I was tearing those napkins apart. The only thing I was aware of was a laughing Paige walking through these gates in a beautiful summer dress holding hands with Aria Montgomery.

* * *

"Hey Paige." My chattering came to an abrupt stop when I heard Spencer call for me. I took a breath before turning around. "Hey."

"Paige, can we talk?" I tightened the grip I had on Aria's hand, apart from that I didn't make a move. "Please?"

"Aria can hear it Spencer. Isn't Toby around?" I scolded myself for being insensitive when a flash of hurt came across Spencer's face.

"Paige." She sighed. "Toby and I are moving in together yes, but I would never just throw you on the street. You don't belong on the street, I knew that from the first time I saw you. I understand that jumped to conclusions, maybe we should have used different words when we broke the news to you."

"I know that I can't stay with you forever and definitely not now you two are going to move in together I guess I just lost my shit."

"Maybe I can ask my parents?" Aria suggested. "That's nice, but that's not necessary thanks Ar." I smiled. "Kenneth kind of owes you, he can give you a bed."

I shook my head wildly. "No. Not a chance I'm moving in with him."

"You're living with me, Paige." Spencer's shaky voice cut through the conversation Aria and I were having. I looked up at her and before I could even do anything we both let out some tears. I took a step closer and threw my arms around her. "I'm so sorry Spencer."

"Sssh it's okay. Don't cry sweetie."

"Come on let's get seated. The ceremony will start in a bit."

* * *

"Hello?"

"Em it's me. Where are you?"

"I'm at the wedding, you know that." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes but more precisely."

"I'm on a balcony. Why? Are you still coming?"

"Can you wait there for me?"

"Ali, the ceremony starts soon."

"Please don't move stay there. Remember what I said last week."

That it will be the last time she needs me to do something. "Fine. I'll wait right here for you."

I caught myself out again. I was looking for her. My eyes found her, with her right hand on Aria's back escorting her to her seat before sitting down herself on the third row, next to that tree. Suddenly and unexpectedly I loathed that Aria girl. Stay calm Emily. Stay calm. Try to look normal. Try to look indifferent.

My eyes dart along the ground, jumping everywhere. Searching for something to look at instead. I had to get away from there, I stepped back into one of the big rooms this castle contains. My shoulders slouched and I let out a loud sigh damned. I went back on the balcony. I turned to look at my favorite tree, she certainly moves fast for a graceful person. I was looking at where she was sitting moments before, imagining she was still there.

Even I can't see her anymore, the way she looks is printed in my mind. Paige. I loved her name. It sounded so poetic. Although I don't know anything about poetry. A little smile started to creep on my lips. My mind started to drift to all these times I already had the blessing of being able to look at her. Sometimes from a distance, other close-up. The one time a bit more clothed than others.

Soon the place was full of guests and Caleb stood nervously waiting for his loud fiancé. Well it's not that I'm missing a thing from up here but just damned hurry up Ali. Where the hell are you.

I quickly changed my focus and went back to the happiness of the day. The bride has arrived. She walked down the aisle in her gorgeous gown. Sparkling.

During the ceremony I watched my parents up close, their unconditional love. His eyes, the emotion on his face as Caleb and Hanna proceed with beautiful words. It wasn't that long ago he asked me again when it would finally be my big day. And he knew, I would find love soon. She was closer than I thought, he said.

He might've been right.

The guests started to cheer as we witnessed the married couples first kiss. The chairs were pushed aside so the newlyweds could make their way through hand-in-hand.

"You two stop right there." I gasped. Oh fuck no. Ali what the hell are you doing? Why are you here? Why are you pausing the wedding? What the hell? It was my dad who got up to face her. I couldn't hear what was being said. Toby got up from his seat too and stood to my dad now. Spencer and Aria were still seated, some were getting up too including Paige. The whispers began to form a loud noise.

In one quick movement Ali magically made a gun appear and fired a shot in the air before quickly pointing it at everyone and no one at the same time. Shouting at everyone to shut up.

I was shook. My feet seemed to be nailed to the floor.


	29. Chapter 30

_**Before the flash forward**_

I watch and try to hide my smile as Aria looks up at me. "Morning, have you been awake long?" I place an arm around her and kiss the top of her head. I take in her face, make-up less, hair frizzled. Not as pale and scary, helpless like in her coma days. Truth is, I'm never going to forget our kid adventures. We hardly know the new each other but the trust is present. I know I want to learn about her, learn about all the things that makes her unique.

Or let's say her birthday is coming up, I hardly know what I can buy to make her happy. Over the years I used to reminisce back to the times we were young and full of hope. Even when I can't be a part of your life anymore I'm in your memories and maybe even in your heart whether you want me to be there or not. I will never forget how you fought and won the battle of life. The friendship you give me is wonderful, I'm scared for it to end. I know it's difficult now, but maybe you'll find something to replace what we had. But our bond is irreplaceable.

I need you to know this is my life I'm talking about, when I returned. When I stayed with you every day, I went all in. I started to dig deep, I tried to find my courage to go on. I've been thinking about you for almost for a decade and that's not going to say. Farewell sweetheart. My best friend for a life time. Letting go is necessary for the old me to die. I must try to move forward and clearly I won't succeed here.

"You alright Paige?" I nodded, trying to fight back tears. I thought about everything I had written down in my letter to her. She might didn't find me a bad person before she might now. I didn't intend for things to go like this, I thought I would come back in a different world. Clearly not. Clearly I had this grieving heart but as long you don't stop believing it had to turn right sooner or later. Or something like that Cinderella once said, my favorite movie as a child.

Alison.

I want to hate you with every fiber of my being. I want to ruin your life like you ruined mine. I want to undermine your relationships and keep happiness away from you. It's not fair how I've suffered. It seems the universe still hasn't turned. I am supposed to hate you. I just can't hate anymore. Me staying is you winning because this ain't me. What you are making me now a days is not me. Things are always supposed to work out in the end, right? It's about time they do, for real this time.

* * *

Dear Emily,

I had to leave town to visit a friend in Ravenswood. He has something for me.

I need to do this. I might need your help. I am going to be in time for the wedding, wouldn't want to miss it for the world. Please Em, you have made it clear to me the past week that you're done with me. But I need you one more time. Help me Em, it will be the last time. I promise. Wait for my call at the wedding, I'll tell you what to do.  
If you help me out one more time, I will save you another time.

Don't show this to anyone.

X0X0 – Ali

Cursing, I put the letter back where I found it laying on the floor. I thought I was on the outside, I guess I never really was. It's in my heart, in my memories, she's buried everywhere that makes me me whether I like it or not. But I will never forget how I fought my way out her arms when all she would do was breathe toxic. I fought so damn hard with every fiber of my being to get over her as soon as possible to concentrate on work, on making my dad proud. The goodbye was destined I believe, but the latest goodbye doesn't sit well with me.

It's like she promises something nice, a good ending. Almost something sweet. I don't know that side and it scares me. I don't have but I want to. One last time Ali.

And then finally maybe I get my own something sweet. I've been missing my girlfriend so badly. I have never missed someone this quickly and so bad in my life. It's a powerful and overwhelming feeling, it's a feeling that would make me give every day away for her to be happy. On my request, happy together. I miss you Paige.

I lived a love something unique and mostly unlikely to occur again. But that's not necessary the love that's your one true love. I do am realizing Ali is trying to pull me back in but she can't pull me out of love. I am so madly crazy deeply in love with you, it frightens me.

I sigh and erase the text I typed.

* * *

I tiptoed downstairs, not wanting to wake Spencer up with the cracks of the old stairs. As I came down I heard the ongoing conversation between Spencer and Toby clearer. "So we're doing this? We're going to move in together?" I didn't think much of it until I heard it loud and clear. "Her room is the biggest spare room we have. If we want that baby, that room should be the babies future room."

I know I missed a step, I know I slid down the stairs. I know I'm lying on my front swimming on the floor, I know I've exposed myself. I should apologize for intruding on such a private conversation, I could smile apologetically and go back up the stairs that way I wouldn't have to say anything. But thinking twice in the moment is not really what I do.

"So when I'm being kicked out? How much time do I have left?"


	30. Chapter 31

Everyone seemed to have disappeared further away in the garden, apart from a few. I feel the nearby presence of a few, but I can't turn my head and lose sight of the happening. I didn't see any fear in Alison's eyes. She isn't here to stop the wedding, she would have come sooner if that was the plan. The first pang, the shot she fired off the sky startled me but I have to find the strength to move forward. Mr. Fields a few other men and myself are the one closest to her. Her eyes only dwell on us, it us she wants. Or one of us. She held the gun in a relaxed grip. Why here? What now?

I don't see logic but there must be something logic to this, Alison always has a plan. A way in and a way out. While I was carefully making my way towards the disturbing woman I was scanning her for any indication of doubt, nerves, uncertainty, a falter, anything to point out. A shiver, a weakness. Her eyebrows were drawn together. She was fully clothed in black, from head to toe with red dots. There was no pattern, it almost looked like they weren't supposed to be there. It seemed like paint. Red paint. Fresh, but dried.

I quickly scanned the room for Spencer, Toby was stood next to me. No Spencer or Aria. That's a good thing I suppose. Red paint. Just like all the times mean words were painted on Spencer's house. I looked back at the blonde, this time she was aiming for me. The smirk on her face made room for words, she was exaggerating with her mouth. Now who's the stupid one. I narrowed my eyes and concentrated to lip read, to catch every letter she throw my way. My hands were sweaty, my knees were weak but I wanted to stay calm. I had to stay calm on the outside. I was replaying the letters, words in my mind. No mistaking, she definitely said I can join my parents soon if I want.

Toby and Mister Fields were busy talking to her, Alison seemed to have built up a wall. It seems she is only interested in me. That must be a privilege since she hates everyone beside herself and maybe her dad. And Emily. Emily. I scanned the garden once more, I thought she would be here. Where the hell is she?

"You." She was calling me out. The gun pointed to me. "Looking for someone?" She laughed. "She's waiting for me. Trust me she won't come to your rescue."

I glanced at the gun and again I knew, she owned me. "What are you going to do Alison? Shoot me? In front of all these people? You will never get away with this even when I'm gone."

"Give me the gun Alison." Toby said. Something seemed to be moving in Alison's glow, a shadow. Her eyes flicked to the side than back at me.

"Emily!"

She turned but not in time. Alison fired before Emily could say something. An army of men came to bring her to jail. "Don't let this out. No phone calls, no press, no lawyers, nothing. Keep this inside." Mister Fields ordered.

"Stand by." Someone yelled. People were rushing to Toby's side. Everything now depended on speed, Alison was arrested. Everyone was being escorted out. Spencer was in hysterics next to Toby, Emily looked from where Alison stood a minute before with tears in her eyes, looking at me. I don't know what happened. I wouldn't use it against Emily if I ever figure it out. I remembered the letter I wrote, thank god I've already hidden it.

The only thing I could do was staring and standing still. She aimed for my face. Toby saw Emily, he called out for her sternly. As to stay, don't move. Don't do anything, go away. Why did he shout? Maybe he hoped she could fix the situation, help us all. Help Ali. But something changed within Alison, when it occurred to her Emily was indeed there. She fired the gun without really looking before the cops who were with Emily could reach her. She took the shot, to shoot at me.

She fired but missed. She didn't actually miss, she ruined someone else's life. She shot right in Toby's legs. "What the fuck are you doing?" It was Caleb screaming at his new bride. Hanna was ripping her dress in pieces, something to wrap around the wound of Toby's legs.

"I don't know more than you. Please understand me. Please listen. Let me talk to you." Emily pleaded. I looked at her and my heart hurt. She's something special. My heart hurt for her. But my heart is full in more than one way. Our gazes caught one more time, it held a look that would me make me shiver when I think back about that look years from now. I wanted to look deep inside my heart for answers. My throat hurt I could hardly talk.

I really wanted to believe all these years in family and happily ever after. She taught me to believe and for a while I could see it with her. This all messed up shit. And I'm sure now I can't have something special, I'm not worth of being loved in that way. Nothing reaches me. I wipe away the fallen tears. I made the mistake of looking in Em's eyes one more time. I grabbed her and held her tight. "Don't cry." Is all I could whisper.


	31. Chapter 32

**I'm so sorry for the short chapters. This one is a bit longer :)  
I can't thank you enough for reading! For those that review I love you!  
Exams are over so I have a full week time for writing fanfiction. :D  
For this, here's the next chapter. The story is coming to an end soon. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Truth is I'm never going to forget all the wonderful times we had together. Nor our hardships. Even with the apologies received and given, with no blame to go around, with some solved puzzle pieces and some not I couldn't stay. I thought for a second to rush home and rip those letters apart but instead I packed the few belongings I had. Even after Ali was arrested, even after the news Toby is only temporarily paralyzed, the truth of the past weeks, it didn't sit right with me.

Ali indeed took stuff away from Aria's bedroom. Because she knew what I did with those objects when I was younger. Just like I thought, it were signals to me. She was somehow warning me. Emily was protecting me with keeping silent the past weeks, she was waiting the Ali time out. I won't stay around much longer, Ali told Emily once. So she stayed loyal to her knowing it would end soon, she waited until she was feeling free again and free to be with me, come to me whenever she needed me too.

How do I move on knowing those people back home? Knowing the role I played these few months? In my mind I followed through. I hope they understand that I had to break the obligation I felt to stay, I needed to let go. That was five days ago.

I found a place that looked charming on the outside. I found an empty table and sat down, the waitress came right over. "Good morning, can I bring you something?"

"Good morning, can I have breakfast?"

"Yeah sure. Coming right up."

She left the table and went to the kitchen. It had a homey feeling on the inside. The more I thought about the fact no one knew where I was, I decided it was a good thing. I turned my phone off when I left. I decided to take my phone out now and bring it back to life.

The waitress came back and place a plate in front of me. "Here's your breakfast. Enjoy."

"Thank you, ah .." I looked at her name tag. "Maggie."

My goodness, I have never had a breakfast like this before. Who can eat pancakes, eggs, sausages for breakfast? I must look like a balloon after a week if I stay at this place. But I can take my time, I have nowhere to be. I guess I can go and find spots in Delaware City that I've missed yesterday. My phone buzzes. My thumb hesitates over the name illuminated on the screen. Ignoring the endless list of missed calls, warily I click on the texts one for one.

 _Found a new stranger to take care of you?_

 _What are you doing now?_

 _You have reached a new low Paige_

 _Where are you?_

 _I'll come and get you. Where are you?_

 _Paige talk to me. One of us. Anyone. Call me._

The last incoming text from Spencer was done with sadness or worrying, she was angry. Pissed at me. After six I stopped reading them. I turn my phone on to vibrate and slide it back into my jeans. I finished my meal, before leaving I left Maggie a nice tip. I paid and left the little Café and went to the nearest bus stop.

I take my phone out again and decided to read Aria's texts. She mentions founding my letter, appreciating it I tried to say goodbye to her. But she doesn't like how I disappeared and when.

Emily, I don't know where to start. I simply don't read hers. I have one missed call from Kenneth, well I appreciate the effort. It's a beautiful day and I can't help enjoying the fact that I don't have to rush to be anywhere. For the first time in years I also feel more alone than ever before. By the time the bus drops me off at my hotel I had some cash ready in my hand. I walked in the hotel lobby ordered a strong drink or two and downed them record time. I shook my head and felt an immediate buzz. My gaze shifted to the band, they were packing up. I looked at the time on my phone, 7.30. Wow. It must have been a wild party here, the barman politely asked me to leave.

However the room here was nice I was contemplating leaving already. Maybe I'll make it to Baltimore or New York City by midday. "I have beverages up in my room if you want." I looked at the tall dark haired man who had just joined me in the elevator. "No thank you." I said with an added polite smile. "Okay, if you prefer to go thirsty." I had to bite my tongue to not throw an snarky comment at him.

"I'm Noel by the way. Noel Khan."

"I'm Paige." I chose not to add my last name, I was allowing myself a moment of fantasy. My last name could be anything, related to anyone and no one in particular.

"Are you here alone?"

"Yes." I wondered how I managed to sound so cool, calm and in control. "Well this is my floor." I felt his breath on my neck, my blood began to head. He came way to close, it seemed he wanted more than just have a simple elevator conversation. I've become too nervous to look into his eyes. "You have the most kissable-looking lips I've ever seen." He said. Suddenly panic flowed through me, he was blocking the elevator doors and me. "I just remembered I'm supposed to meet somebody. I'm going to be late." I squirmed out of his arms, through the door and rushed out the elevator. He tried to held on to my arm, stepping out the way of the door allowing it to close. He was still tugging my arm, I managed to break free and run. Run towards my room, I thought he would've stepped out and followed me but he didn't. I only heard a nasty laugh that I address to him.

As soon as I was inside, I realized my mistake. I felt like an idiot. Maybe this isn't the world meant for me neither. I threw myself on the bed. Maybe just maybe they would want me back.

 _I'm so sorry_. _I have failed again. I'm sorry truly for the way I handled things or better said did not handle. I have spent to long dreaming of something perfect, I was close but it turned hell. I decided it was better for me to go somewhere else. Than what happened at the wedding, no one was safe in that place because of me. And Toby, how can I ever look him in the eye again? I'm so sorry Aria. I can't live in Rosewood, I hope you understand._

I hit send and turned my phone off. I need a shower. I climb back on my feet and drag myself toward the bathroom, it was only when I started undressing myself I realized I only took of one shoe. I went back in the room to see if I maybe kicked it off while lying on the bed. I opened the door on a latch and looked a little distance into the hallway. Damned. Where did I lose that little bastard?

* * *

She looked my way but I had already turned away to stare out at nothing, trying to keep my emotions in check. I took a guess to drive south, and with the help of Caleb's hacking skills I knew when she turned on her phone. It took me some time but thank god she kept her phone on, giving me the opportunity to drive precisely to her. I had just parked my car as I saw her waiting on a bus, which I followed and led me to this hotel. It makes my heart hurt to see a good person and such a strong and caring one suffer like that. I wanted to yell at her, I wanted to run towards her, to hug her, to kiss her, to slap her, to scream some more, to kiss some more. She makes me crazy, still am so crazy crazy for her. She's something special you know.

I let out a sigh and went to the reception.

"Hi do you have a room available please? The name is Fields."


	32. Chapter 33

In fear I took the stairs, I stood on the other side of the hall when the elevator opened. Paige ran out, actually ran almost tripping over. A second later she was gone. I walked closer okay so I'm on the 4th floor, she went in room 25. She must been on the run all night, early breakfast, a few morning drinks and now trying to gain much needed sleep. How can someone so beautiful be so lost? And stubborn. Why is she so sure she has to do everything on her own? Paige damned. I walked to the elevator to go to my floor when a shoe caught my attention. Paige's shoe. I smiled as I took it. Only fair, she has my heart now I have something that belongs to her. Only difference, she might want this back. It was hard for me to admit I wanted love and yet I feared it. Another thing I had to admit is everything left me very anxious, when it comes to Paige everything's mixed. Maybe she was right when she told me I couldn't love her because I didn't know her. Maybe I didn't really know her but the truth remains the same, yes I'm in love with her. And that reason is why I listened to Caleb and jumped in my car.

Everyone has a bad or dark side, but I can love that part of her. I already do, now I only have to hope it's mutual. I paced the floor of my hotel room and waited until it was time to leave again. I have to speak to her tonight. When the clock turned 5pm, I almost ran out of the room into the elevator. Then I waited for the endless minutes to pass as I sat in the lobby.

* * *

I groaned seeing it was only late afternoon. Closing my eyes I leaned back searching for a moment of piece, trying to clear my mind of all thoughts. Instead of a blank space I saw the elevator man his image appearing. Not quickly after the people from Rosewood took over. Frowning I opened my eyes. "I got used to a much different kind of world." I mumbled to myself.

Where am I going from here? I have to find an answer to that quickly. What job do I hope to find? I'll have to figure that part out once I'm there. Probably working a lot, a few jobs, a lot of shifts. I could stay in a cheap hotel, eating pizza. I don't know what I'm doing but that never really stopped my before. This time I have about the same amount of cash as the last time I ran away, I don't have to be afraid this time I have to explain to the cops why I have it.

I picked out a jeans, sweater and a vest together with the only pair of shoes I have left. I hope the other shoe comes out, Spencer bought me those. I grabbed the key and made my way out. Moping around in a hotel room isn't really my thing. I began wandering around the city hoping for some sort of inspiration to come my way. An idea, an giant arrow pointing me in a direction. The sounds, smells of restaurants and cafes were soon becoming overwhelming.

Not so long ago I wandered through other streets, much later on the evening, more scared. Wondering how long I would have to go without something decent to eat, considering begging never was option for me. But it seemed I could've been the stealing kind. I will never go down that road again, it wasn't me. It was a good thing that I failed at stealing. I felt awful enough without accomplishing that.

I walked in a tapas bar, the music was festive, a lot of colored furniture, older people also kids, it felt okay to try on my own. An appetizing array of snacks were lined up on the bar. They all looked delicious, the men on the bar made room for me. I smilingly thanked them. I dug into my pockets for a collection of coins, lining them up on the counter and counting them. I can happily say I'll be able to eat here tonight whatever food I like.

With food and a little alcohol in my stomach I continued my wandering around the city, still hoping to find that big arrow somewhere sending me to my solution. I passed a place that was packed for a Tuesday night, karaoke night it seemed. People really do that? It's something you see in movies, dragging people up who get insanely embarrassed. I heard the laughing die down to make room for loud applause. So what if I made a fool of myself? I went inside.

I would be drawing attention to myself, maybe not in a bad way. But still all eyes would be on me, I hated that all my life. Nothing good came from having attention, but this kind of attention is different. I can control it a little bit. The stage was left open for me, welcoming me. It was the first time I had performed in public and I became very nervous, I nearly ran and left. Did I have any other ideas? No. Just pretend that you're alone in your room, nobody's listening.

I didn't really know many songs, listening to music was luxury. My confidence grew which led me to kind of improved performance of four minutes.

 _Clock strikes upon the hour_

 _And the sun begins to fade_

 _Still enough time to figure out_

 _How to chase my blues away_

 _I've done alright up to now_

 _It's the light of day that shows me how_

 _And when the night falls, loneliness calls_

I'd noticed someone standing outside looking in for the whole durance. On my way to the hotel I passed a street musician. I fished a few coins out of my pocket and threw it in his hat on the floor. I know it takes a lot of courage to play in public definitely when you know you're not very good. Or maybe he just doesn't know how bad he is. That's a different matter, still everyone deserves a bit of money and respect.

I had to walk through the same deserted street of last night, it was a poorly-lit side street. It could be my mind but I think I'm being followed. Just to make sure, I crossed the street. So did the figure. I crossed back again, the other person did too. Unless I started to run, the other person would catch up before I reached the hotel.

I tried to continue walking, calmly. I looked carefully behind me as I stopped at the intersection a block away from the hotel. It's gone, it's all okay. It's not even that scary late in this city.

I noticed that Noel guy smoking a cigarette outside, I pretended that I didn't see him. I hurried inside, pressing the elevator button. Don't you dare follow me, I thought. He didn't.

I laid safely on my bed when I heard knocking on the door. "Who's there?" No answer. Well we are all supposed to die once right? I opened my hotel room door. There she stood, there she was.  
We looked at each other, that's all we did for minutes.

* * *

The knob turned and the door opened. My heart pounded. There she stood in the doorway her left hand holding the door open. The impulse to hug her and kiss her was so powerful I could barely control myself. I embraced her and kissed the side of her head. "Am I too forward?" I laughed.

Still lost for words I went inside and sat close to her on the bed. I could feel her heart beating. "I knew you were the one for me." I whispered. She exhaled her sweet breath. With both hands I held hers. "Paige, the only thing I want to know is do you still trust me? Can you trust me again? Do you still want me?"

At the last question she looked straight into my eyes. "I will never not want you."

My heart was pumping blood again when she spoke. "Do you trust me?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly my mind is a mess when I think about everything Rosewood related."

"It's always been a mess that town. It got better with you in it though."

She didn't say anything or looked at me. "Paige you have to know I won't stop crossing your path. I'll always return. Accidentally or not. Paige, look at me." I placed my fingers on her chin and moved her face a little so she was finally looking back at me.

"Talk to me please." I begged. "I want you to be happy, let me help you get passed this feeling. Babe I'm begging you."


	33. Chapter 34

"Don't you get it Emily? I don't give a damn about Alison's explanation! I don't care at all. The only thing I regret is staying in Rosewood for longer than a week. As soon I left Spencer's bubble everything got messed up."

"She's gone Paige. You can come back, we can figure things out it will all be fine now." I spoke and I pleaded but she wasn't interested. She was in pain. My voice was choking with tears. "Please don't do this to me. Please don't shut me out of your life, you're too important to me. I want to be there for you please you have to let me. Don't stop communicating with me."

* * *

"I can't return, everyone's life is shaken up because of me yours included. If I stayed just for a little while and then left things would still be normal." I had drowned myself with indifference, the world didn't exist anymore. I didn't think I would feel so ashamed.

"You have to be careful with those, they can become addictive." She had my Xanax tablets in her hand, the only thing that gave me peace and let me shut out the world for a couple of hours.

I turned my back on her and started to cry. I needed her to tell me that I was nothing to her and that I was nothing for her. Over the next month or so I would come to slowly accept the feeling I was a hopeless situation.

I heard some noise, she was unzipping her back and putting something on the small table. "Aria texted me to let me know that I know where she is if I need to talk and she's hoping I'm okay. Couldn't you text me something like that?" Something easy as that would have made my decision now a bit easier now she's unsettling my heart, it's raging.

"I know you're happy to see me."

I shook my head. I had decided to try and find a new life, somewhere where they don't know the family DiLaurentis, somewhere I just can say I'm an orphan and that's it.

"Paige … If I tell you how we all feel since the wedding, you would know you're being ridiculous. We understand you want time for yourself but not for good, you can't run away and except we won't try to change your mind. We care about you, Caleb, Aria and Spencer are your friends, Paige. You're just conflicted, you don't really want to go do you?"

I sighed. "Emily …"

"Just let me tell you, Alison is insane you don't have any fault in her sick mind. She did you wrong, not the other way round. Yes, Toby is in a wheelchair. If you would've stayed you would know he hasn't once been angry at you or blamed you. He has asked multiply times if you're alright, when we informed him you were gone he felt like it was his fault. Aria kind of understands but is scared she won't see you anymore. Spencer yes she's angry you left, but nothing you can fix. And I, I let you down these past weeks. I failed you. We want you back Paige." She was talking rather fast, I heard the big lump in her throat.

I replayed some of her words back in my head, I turned around. I didn't look at her but at the object she put on the table. I laughed. "You found my shoe."

"Yeah I did." She laughed her beautiful laugh. "I saw you coming out the elevator yesterday and I picked up your shoe." We fell back into silence.

"Well thank you." I eventually said.

"You never told me about your singing voice." Now she got my attention.

"What are you talking about?"

"I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody." She started to sing softly making me laugh.

"Oh no." I buried my head in my hands as I sat on the end of the bed.

"I wanna dance with somebody with somebody who loves me." I heard her softly continuing. I felt the bed dip, I peeked through my fingers. "I need a woman who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last so when the night falls my lonely heart calls."

I looked at her and blushed. I shook my head at the ridiculousness of the moment, well my teens weren't like this so better late than never right.

"I hope I didn't scare you tonight when you were walking home."

"In that dark street?" She nodded yes.

"Well I'm glad it was you." Really glad.

I don't know who leaned in first but I don't care It feels so good to have her lips against mine again. Hesitantly at first, but soon more seductively, it stirred my blood.

I stopped the kiss. "I think I should call at least Spencer and Aria. Get everything out the way now."

After an short and sweet conversation with Aria, very much the best best friend ever I found the courage to diall Spencer's number.

"Hey Spencer, it's me." There was an uneasy pause on the other end of the line.

"Hello Paige, how are you?" The friendly tone, the way she had chosen to continue this conversation scared me. Emily was right, Spencer sure is mad.

"I'm in Delaware City since two days now. Is everything fine there? How's Toby?"

"Yes of course everything is fine Paige."

I sighed. "I'm so sorry Spence, I debated with leaving for a while and that day my brain shut down I guess. I'm calling because I want to fix things, I realize now that I can't runaway from you all. You won't let me, and if it was the other way 'round I wouldn't let you dissapear either. I feel very awful Spence and definitely when it comes to Toby. It's like Aria's accident all over again, technically not my fault but we all know that if I wouldn't have done a thing nothing would have happened."

"Paige." My name left her mouth as a sigh. I've heard that one before, it was full with understanding but also a bit irritation. Like she was saying " _not this again"_

"Toby has several weeks of recovery to go through and months of rehabilitation. He has nightmares at night, he also already moved in. It's better this way."

My thoughts wandered to the conversation I overheard them talking about. "I'm sorry for how I reacted, I'm very happy for you guys to have found each other. I can only say how sorry I am for what's happening and that I never wanted things to go this way. I don't know what I have to say to Toby. I can only pray that his recovery will go fast and good."

"He knows how you feel and that makes him feel even worse."

"You guys are the best you know. I'm honored to have friends like you."

"The same counts for us Paige." I could tell she was smiling.

"Spencer, we never talked about it or addressed it but we both know I heard everything. So congratulations on your pregnancy. I won't tell anyone nor Emily. I promise. If things get to much now, call me. I'll answer I promise."

I don't know if she was laughing or crying on the other end. "Thank you." I guess it's a mixture of both. "I'll need you."

"I'll be there. I'm going to stay away for a little while I think."

"Not for good?"

"Not for good."

"That's great." I knew I made the right choice to call. "Emily?"

"She's here right now. Maybe you can help me, I have been thinking about something regarding Emily."

"Okay, I'm listening."


	34. Chapter 35

I woke up feeling slightly disorientated. First thought was, how do I feel about everything now? Then I remembered all the things that have been said and have been done last night. I reach across the bed for Paige. I sit up a bit looking around the room, she left me alone.

Last night I tried to wait for Paige, sleep was catching up with me. I hope she didn't mind I slept in her bed. I didn't want to go to my room, she was making phone calls in the hallway I didn't want to disturb her. Clearly the other side of the bed had been sleeping in too, a big grin made its way to my face. Well that's a good thing.

I heard a tiny tapping on the door, I slid out the bed and went to answer it. Paige stood with a tray on the other side of the door. Before I went to open the door I saw I was wearing some of her clothes, I opened the door and quickly sprinted back to bed covering the clothes I used to sleep in. If she already doesn't know, I thought.

"I hope I didn't wake you, I forgot to take the key with me." She closed the door with her foot before approaching me with the tray. "I thought you might wanted something to eat."

She put the tray down and made her way on the bed, settling down next to me. Between bites I was looking at her from the corner of my eye. You drive me absolute crazy with desire, I thought glancing at her lips.

"Thank you for this." I said. She gave me a shy smile in return. I really wanted to start a conversation, she didn't seem up to much talking and what I really wanted to know was, what now?

"You had a long talk with Spencer then?" I tried to sound very casual.

"Yeah, you were right about everyone. And thank you for the push." Again that beautiful smile.

"You would do no less for me." I answered straight away without thinking. I felt her tense beside me.

"I don't want to go back with you Emily. I really do need a bit of time on my own."

"What?" I knew there was a chance she would want to stay but I wasn't prepared to hear anything like that. "But it can be you, me and the roads if you want to. I'm checking out in two hours, continue my unplanned travelling for a while and when I'm ready I'll go back to Rosewood. I can see you there or we can go back together after we have seen other cities, stay at cheap places, eat at diners, buy a lot of donuts on the way. We can go sightseeing in big cities, we can go to beaches, do anything you like. We can go anywhere, you and me. " She placed a gentle loving kiss on my cheek, close to the corner of my mouth. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "It's your decision, if you want this then let's go. If you want me." She got up and headed to the bathroom.

The sound of the water running gave me a ticking time bomb feeling, I had to leave her room and went back to mine. After laying on bed thinking over what to do, I decided I even good could do something productive and started packing. I was checking out too, only am I going with my car to the clinic, my apartment, my work, my family? Or am I going to drive with Paige wherever we feel like going and stopping at places wherever it feels right?

Part of me wants to jump for joy and scream out of the window that Paige wants me to come with her. I knew who I had to call, my dad. The days when I didn't know where Paige was, I felt sad that she didn't ask me to go with her. Now she has, but work what do I do with that? And all the bills I have to pay?

I grabbed my phone and checked the room one more time, when it seemed I had everything I went downstairs, ready to check out. I had a look in the lobby and just outside the hotel. She mustn't been down yet. I threw my bags in the car and focused on breathing.

Five minutes later, there she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen stumbling out with her bag thrown over her shoulder. I saw her looking around, while her hand was in her pocket. I saw her counting her coins, she was going to buy a bus fare I thought. I quickly went behind the wheel and rode a bit forward. The car stopped in front of Paige, I didn't need to honk I already had her attention. I roll my car window down. "You want a ride?"

"Em, I don't want to go back yet."

"I know, me neither." Faster than you could blink your eye she was sitting next to me kissing me tenderly.

"You really want to do this with me?"

"You bet." I winked.

She fastened her seatbelt, I turned up the radio and started the engine.

* * *

 _1 year later_

"Caleb that banner came down!" I laughed as I heard Hanna bossing everyone around. We had hung up a huge welcome home banner in the house, also all their cards they had sent were on the walls. All of them, the first one was from Delaware City saying they were off together exactly a year ago. They went to New Jersey, New York, Miami, Dallas, Houston, every week we got a card from somewhere else, after two months the cards were international. They had travelled through Europe and even a bit outside Europe. They were living the dream together. Sometimes we were able to call, one call was just like the other ones from their hotel room only then it was middle in the night for them, they were pretty drunk and newlyweds. They took a plane to Florence and eloped!

Well after the big shock, I thought "Who doesn't love a good elopement?" Things were moving quickly here too, one year ago Toby, Paige and I were the only ones who knew about my pregnancy. Of course I couldn't keep that silent for long. 3 months ago, I gave birth to a strong boy named Keegan Cavanaugh. Toby is doing better, still working hard to not needing his chair anymore. Aria has been giving a cleaning job at the clinic by Emily's dad who had been taking charge again.

We have created very good memories the past year, and it has been very emotional. Last week we received a card from Barcelona, announcing they were coming home. I cried hours of happiness, I'm sorry Aria but my best friend was coming back. And they could be here any moment, Aria went to pick them up from the airport.

As on cue, we heard a long missed voice talk outside. As soon Paige opened the door, I threw myself in her arms. "Damned you, a little while you said not a bloody year!"

She laughed in my hair. "I've missed you too Spence. All of you." She said a bit louder, looking at everyone in the room. Aria, Caleb, Hanna, Mister Fields, Mrs. Fields, Kenneth and Toby.

"Oh my god." I heard her gasping. She slowly walked over to Toby who had little Keegan on his lap. In the meanwhile everyone was engulfing Emily in a hug. "Emmy, drop by at the office later. I think it's time you sign some papers, if you remember our conversation from more than a year ago."

Mr. Fields and I worked on the papers the last week, we started as soon as we knew they were coming home, the only thing left is for her to sign and it's all hers.

"Wow guys. I really appreciate the welcome. I want to thank you all for keeping In touch, for not letting me forget that there are people who care about me. I'm going to move in with Emily but I'll never forget what this house means to me and how so many years later Spencer you made me feel like home here again. I have no words to express myself properly. I really love all of you so much, cheers to that." We raised our glass as Paige and Emily sealed her words with a good welcome home kiss.

What did we learn? Well Paige was lost, took wrong turns and was way to stubborn to ask for directions but she's where she's meant to be. "Cheers to McCullers."

* * *

 **WOW I can't believe I did it, but I'm so proud of myself for finishing this story!  
I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU IT MEANS SO SO SO CRAZY MUCH TO ME!**

 **See you soon! xxxx**


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